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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23164864">Stress Toy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalElegy/pseuds/EternalElegy'>EternalElegy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night &amp; Related Fandoms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, NSFW, Themes of suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:47:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,838</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23164864</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalElegy/pseuds/EternalElegy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don’t care if I become someone’s stress toy, I just want to feel needed by someone. Anyone.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlin/Arthur Pendragon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Credits to justforfum for beta-reading this work!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur’s relationship with Guinevere ended several weeks ago, but the feeling of knowing that it was <em> all his fault </em> bit into his heart every day and every night. </p><p>As usual, his coworkers gave him short and meaningless greetings as they passed by him in the office, they knew very well that his productivity had gone down, but there was no point bringing it up with him. Their firm was still alive after all, and they quietly took on whatever work that he failed to get done on time. All it took was a “something came up” from him, and that told them everything and nothing at the same time. Arthur felt almost hopeless that this was just his emotions manifesting themselves as physical discomfort. He didn’t want to be letting down everyone else but at the same time he felt so drained that it was becoming impossible for him to sit down and spend a few good solid hours on his work. The events that happened on that fateful day would play themselves in his head over and over again. He cried at work once. That was embarrassing. </p><p>On his way home, he gave an unintentionally pained glance at the florist that he usually visited to clear his mind, not wanting to bother the owner of the florist with visits that didn’t involve him spending on flowers. He immediately regretted looking that way when he saw lustrous white hair peek from the door, and he couldn’t avoid the concerned gaze of Merlin. Arthur just shook his head and that was all. How many times had he done it this week again? It could have been many times considering he passed this florist on the way to work.</p><p>Now, back in his apartment, Arthur stared at the vase in his living room, thinking about the vibrant life that the white lilies in it had once had. They’re dead now, and they have been for several weeks, but he couldn’t work up the energy to clean it up (or even just clean up anything). Suddenly he felt like he was in a daze, slightly distanced from his own body even. He eyed the fridge, having thoughts about dinner, but decided to deny it. There was no point trying if he didn’t have the energy to make and eat it, so he resorted to an extremely lengthy hot shower instead. </p><p>It reminded him of Guinevere’s warmth when they embraced for the first time. Arthur cried.</p><p>With a towel covering him, he made a beeline to his bed, immediately collapsing onto it. In that instant, he lost the energy required to get out of it. He wasn’t under his blanket so it would be a little cold, but he couldn’t even muster any sort of movement. Arthur lay there for hours, trapped in his thoughts, his relationship with Guinevere playing in his head over and over again.</p><p>He wanted his mind to shut up and let him sleep forever.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately for him, that did not happen. Getting out of bed was the first difficult task of the day, but Arthur knew that he couldn’t afford to miss out on another day of work. He had already used up all of his sick days and he wasn’t particularly keen on getting fired. Something in the back of his mind wondered if letting the job go and starving on the streets was genuinely a good idea. Or maybe the cold would take his life first.</p><p>Another day at work started with apologies that he turned up late. With his brain still on autopilot mode, he sat down at his office and began to review what he needed to get done. Everything went in and out of his brain over and over again, and he had to channel all the willpower that he could to not give up and walk out right there. He had to focus on the computer screen in front of him and not the tightness in his chest. Lately he had been attempting to use coffee to help, but today he was so exhausted that he forgot to purchase a warm, caffeinated beverage. Joining his coworkers for their morning tea break at the coffee machine was not an option, he was in no mood to talk and he’d only be bombarded with questions and other sorts of noises if he participated in their informal meetings.</p><p>Time did not fly, though Arthur sorely wished that it had. On his way back to the apartment, he couldn’t help but glance at the flowers again. He hadn’t been getting the usual happiness that sprung up whenever he eyed the beautiful plants, but his body had stopped walking and his brain was processing the name of the shop, <em> Garden of Avalon </em>. Arthur had been taking this same route for years, why was he looking at the florist like this was the first time he’d seen it?</p><p>“Hello? You okay?” He was dragged back into reality by a voice. <em>Ah, that’s right. It’s Merlin’s.</em><br/>
“I’m sorry for looking at you like that.” If Arthur was staring at Merlin, he had no way of knowing, he already forgot what he had been doing for the past few minutes. “I will be on my way-”<br/>
“I don’t think so~” Merlin's eyes narrowed and his lips pulled up into a smile as he held his wrist and pulled him out from the street and into the shop. Once they’re inside, Merlin tossed back some hair that had blown onto his face and leaned on the counter.</p><p>“Tell me what’s wrong.” Arthur remembered that Guinevere would have this look of concern that was small and yet so powerful that it immediately drew out his worries. The eyes, the small frown, her tone of voice just made him spill everything, as if he was hurting her tremendously by withdrawing information. Merlin smiled, his eyes locked with Arthur’s in an almost inescapable gaze, even his words were spoken in such a casual manner. </p><p>Despite these differences, Arthur wanted to get talking, about his relationship with Guinevere, the breakup, how his world was brought down with the relationship, but the small part of his sane mind realised that he had only occasionally interacted with this man, usually extremely short small talk whenever he paid a visit to the florist. If that was the case, why did Merlin feel that it was appropriate to ask for potentially sensitive information? It didn’t make sense. Arthur felt somewhat relieved that he could come to this realisation, because it meant some part of himself was still there.</p><p>“Nothing is wrong, I’m sorry for bothering you.” He replied.<br/>
“Nonsense. There is something on your mind.” Merlin was still smiling, and he took a step towards Arthur. “I’m sure getting it off your chest would be a good idea.”<br/>
“This is something personal.” Arthur snapped, and internally recoiled at how harsh his tone was. </p><p>“Ah.” Merlin gained distance and leaned onto the counter again, something about his gaze softened. “Well, my shop is always open for you. Come back anytime you wish to talk, I’ve got plenty of spare time.” </p><p>Arthur wasted no time heading back to his apartment. Another shower, and then sleep. He tried to make sense of what happened at the florist, but he found no answers. </p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Yesterday’s events repeated themselves, except for the part that happened after Merlin dragged Arthur into the florist. </p><p>“Do you do this to everyone?” were Arthur’s first words as Merlin closed the door to the florist.<br/>
“If someone was standing outside in the middle of the storm, then yes, I would offer them shelter.” Merlin’s tone was flat at first, his expression neutral. Arthur turned around and the winds and rain were not giving anyone any mercy outside. He realised that he forgot that there would be a storm coming. He didn’t even realise that he was soaked to the bone until now. </p><p>There was an awkward silence as Arthur’s mind blanked. </p><p>“You used to visit this place fairly often, often enough that I could consider you a friend from all the times that we’ve talked.” Merlin started. The words went through one ear and out the other. The florist sighed and tried speaking again. “Have you been getting enough sleep?”</p><p>Still no response. Arthur only snapped out of his trance when a very cold finger was jabbed into his cheek and he almost jumped out of his skin.</p><p>“I’m terribly sorry, Merlin.”<br/>
“Come on, there’s no need to be so formal.” Merlin smiled (it was an expression that seemed so natural for him, Arthur thought), almost laughed at his own prank. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”</p><p>That phrase made no sense to Arthur.</p><p>“... Huh?”<br/>
“Considering we’ve had quite a lot of interactions in the past, wouldn’t you say that we’re something more than acquaintances?” Merlin’s smile grew brighter, as if he was excited at this for some reason.<br/>
“Um… I guess so.” Arthur was not thinking when he said this.<br/>
“Oho, it’s not like you to trip like that. You usually carry yourself very well.” </p><p>Arthur tried to think of the last time he felt like himself. <em> … Ah, that’s right. Before the breakup. </em></p><p>“I guess it’s settled then!” The florist clapped his hands together. “I’ll help you out with your troubles, just like any friend would.”<br/>
“But I can’t help you back-” The businessman tried, but it failed as Merlin quickly interrupted.<br/>
“No no no, just seeing you get better would already be my pleasure.” </p><p>At first thought, Arthur thought that Merlin was speaking those words lightly, but when he saw his eyes become gentler, his smile no longer intense, it seemed to be real. Like Merlin genuinely cared for his well being and it wasn’t some offhand comment that he made just because he didn’t want Arthur to feel bad about receiving something for free.</p><p>“I’m sorry, but I want to tackle this alone.” At that exact moment, Arthur questioned whether he was speaking the truth.<br/>
“Is this because you don’t trust me?” Merlin still looked friendly and happy. <br/>
“To be frank, yes.” <br/>
“Well, I’ll always be here, even when you reach a point so low that you think no one can save you.” </p><p>Arthur thought that he was already at that point, but Merlin was being cryptic and he was too tired to think about it at the moment.</p><p>“Then, I will be on my way.” The businessman turned to leave.<br/>
“Would you like to borrow my umbrella?” The florist tried to offer assistance.<br/>
“No, I will be fine.”<br/>
“Treat yourself to something warm tonight, okay?” Arthur turned to face Merlin, and he was met with a relaxed smile. His voice was so soft that it almost broke whatever pieces of his heart he had left.</p><p>Arthur didn’t trust himself to give a polite answer, but couldn’t bring himself to explain his situation at home, so he wordlessly left. The dead flowers at home, originally a gift to Guinevere, began to remind him of the florist he purchased them from.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Arthur came to the florist after work when he was dragged into it yet again by Merlin.</p><p>“You said before that we used to interact a lot.”<br/>
“Yes, indeed I did.” Merlin’s smile this time was half way between something casual, and a grin.<br/>
“How come I have barely any recollection of this? I remember vaguely that I visited…”<br/>
“Aww, how hurtful of you to not remember talking to the greatest florist in the city.” The florist pouted. “You loved flowers and I’d spend time explaining these flowers to you, or you’d just tell me about your day.” Nothing sprung to Arthur’s mind, but he decided to leave this at that. </p><p>“What are you doing before you see me on the walkway and drag me inside?”<br/>
“You always come right after I’ve just cleaned up the shop and I’m spending some time to admire my flowers, so it’s no problem for me to just go and pick you off the street.” </p><p>Arthur ran out of things to talk about, and he slipped into a daze. Merlin was there to force him back into reality with a poke to the cheek.<br/>
“You act pretty sleep-deprived but you don’t look sleep-deprived at all.” The florist commented, putting his hands on his hips. <br/>
“Sorry, I keep on thinking about other things.” <br/>
“Come on, I’m a friend, not a client! There’s no need to apologise for everything.” He exclaimed, before he paused to think about something. Arthur thought about the time when he visited this place to buy flowers for Guinevere, before one was held in his face.</p><p>“It’s a snowflower! Take it.” Merlin’s was almost beaming, as if he was proud of the little offering. Arthur accepted the flower without much thought initially, and then internally hit himself when he made a realisation.<br/>
“I can’t just take this for free, you sell these flowers for a living.”<br/>
“It’s a gift. Let’s leave it at that, shall we?” </p><p>The businessman was slightly annoyed that the florist wasn’t going to give him any answers.</p><p>“Just keep the little guy in a small vase with some water and sugar and it should be good to go for some time. How about you go and tend to it now while it’s still alive?” Merlin advised. Arthur didn’t think it was a coincidence that he was being asked to leave when he wanted to. Goodbyes were exchanged and he was back at the apartment again with the dead flowers still in the other vase. </p><p>Arthur mustered enough energy to follow Merlin’s instructions before showering and going back to bed.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>“Is Mr. Snowflower alive?” was Merlin’s very first question after a quick greeting as he placed himself next to the counter again. <br/>
“Yes, rest assured he is.”<br/>
“Good, very good.” Arthur noticed that the florist scanned his expression for a moment before giving a response, probably to check to see if he was lying or not. “So, how was work today?”<br/>
“Nothing eventful happened.”<br/>
“Tell me about the gossip at your workplace. I’m sure something eventful happened.” Merlin gave a slight smirk. </p><p>“Well, our boss is-”<br/>
“Tell me the truth, Mr Pendragon.” Suddenly the florist’s expression was much darker than before, as if he already knew what was happening in Arthur’s mind, of all the pain and grief and-<br/>
“I… I don’t talk to my coworkers.”<br/>
“Why not? Don’t get along anymore?”<br/>
“Just don’t feel like talking to them.”<br/>
“... People can be like that sometimes.” Merlin was back to his usual self again. “Ah, but of course, that’s why I’m a florist and not working with other people. Flowers serve as much better companions than humans.” </p><p>
  <em> Was that… a hint of sadness in Merlin’s eyes?  </em>
</p><p>“What makes you think that?” Now Arthur was curious, and he tried to use this curiosity to push the thoughts of Guinevere to the back of his mind. </p><p>“Flowers are way more understandable than people! You tend to them, they grow and become beautiful, and the better you take care of them, the longer that beauty. Humans are way too complicated for my liking, but even so, seeing other people happy makes me happy. I know other people can feel down and all, but I’m there for the moments when people cheer up. That’s why I’m okay with giving up my babies for others. Making people feel better is enough for me to want to keep doing this.” Merlin didn’t look at Arthur during his explanation, but rather he swept the shop with his eyes, and Arthur could feel the passion emanating off the white-haired man standing opposite to him as he gave every single plant his attention.</p><p>Arthur expected Merlin to tell some story about a bad encounter with someone else, but he was surprised by the optimism. <br/>
“Well then, you’ve got to tell me something too.” The florist met the businessman’s eyes. “You must have something to say about how you don’t want to talk to your coworkers anymore, right?”</p><p>Merlin was roping him in, and Arthur almost yielded until he thought about the root of everything: the breakup with Guinevere. </p><p>“No, not really.”<br/>
“Aww, okay.” There was another smile (how does he keep on smiling, Arthur thought) and after a brief pause, he whips his cell phone out of his pocket.</p><p>“May I have your number?” Merlin said in the sweetest voice that Arthur has ever heard. The latter dismissed the thought of the former genuinely hitting on him, and that he was just doing it as a joke. <br/>
“Why do you want my number?” <br/>
“Because I want to keep in touch, of course! What if I’m sick and the shop is closed for a day? What if I’m busy and can’t talk because I have extra orders to sort out when you finish work? I still want to be able to talk to you, you know.” From this, Arthur decided that Merlin had no ill intent. </p><p>“Okay. Here’s my business card. I have to go now since I’m expecting a delivery.” <br/>
“Have fun with your package!” Merlin waved goodbye as Arthur exited the shop. </p><p>All too quickly, Arthur is home, a small box waiting in front of his door. Inside are the pills that he requested from someone over the internet, but as he entered the apartment, he couldn’t help but look at the snowflower on his counter. He thought of Merlin, beaming as he handed him the flower, treating it like it could think and hear everything he was saying. </p><p>It was almost funny thinking that he would die before this frail flower would.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Arthur was at Merlin’s shop again the next day, with the florist greeting him with his usual bright smile. <br/>
“So, how was your day?” Merlin started.<br/>
“I finished with a client’s work, that took a lot of effort.”<br/>
“Oh, really? Was it annoying?”<br/>
“Yes, it was-” Arthur sighed. “Extremely time consuming. A lot of communication to get the information I need from them in order to get my job done.”</p><p>Merlin seemed satisfied with the response, nodding with a small smile on his face, before the smile was completely gone and he locked Arthur into a gaze so fierce that he didn’t dare to look away.</p><p>“Tell me what you’re thinking of doing tonight.” Merlin spoke in a low and threatening tone.<br/>
“Why are you-”<br/>
“First you act unusually cheerful, and then you’re fiddling with something in your pocket. I can tell you’re hiding something.” <br/>
“I-I don’t have anything planned for tonight!”<br/>
“Show me what’s in your pocket. I’m curious.” Merlin’s aggression didn’t fade at all, but Arthur pulled out a very small bottle and handed it to the florist, who opened the bottle to inspect its contents.<br/>
“Ah, I see. Chewable milk tablets? I really love those too.” Merlin’s expression softened a bit, and he began to retrieve a tablet.</p><p>“STOP! THAT’S CYANIDE!” Arthur shouted and lunged forward, swatting the bottle to the side before Merlin could touch its contents, spilling it on the floor beside him. It took some time for the adrenaline in Arthur’s system to fade, but when he was finally able to think clearly (after the shock of realising Merlin could have died right there), he realised the implications of his words.</p><p>Merlin’s expression could only be described as hurt. Tears began to form in his eyes as he held Arthur’s hand. </p><p>“You were… you were going to kill yourself?” Merlin’s voice was so soft that Arthur felt a pang in his chest. <br/>
“I…”<br/>
“No, thank you. Thank you for coming to me.” It was at this moment when Arthur remembered Merlin’s words from before, about him being there when he thought no one could save him. He also realised that Merlin said those words because he already knew how he felt this whole time, even though their conversations were mostly light-hearted. Arthur underestimated how perceptive Merlin was.</p><p>“I just have one request, Arthur.” A tear escaped Merlin’s eye, and he had to pause in an attempt to keep his composure. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”</p><p>Arthur decided to stop holding back his emotions and let everything go.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>“I broke up with Guinevere.” </p><p>Merlin didn’t respond. His lack of reaction seemed to be egging Arthur to continue, so he did. </p><p>“She was… she was everything to me. We met in university and we fell in love but… she lived far away so I wanted to be able to save up for a place where we can all live together. I worked hard, I worked so hard just to earn extra money to make that dream possible, I thought that I was doing everything right because I was doing it for our future. Then she told me that I was ignoring her and I was spending too much time at work to even see her or talk to her, but I just blocked her out and continued working and… she had enough and broke up with me. Just the thought of being with her motivated me to work, I endured those long hours for her knowing that she cared about me but… she left me because I didn’t care enough about her to give her attention. I haven’t even eaten dinner for weeks, or that much of anything, work is so painful and slow but everyone just quietly covers for me even though I don’t even talk to them anymore, everyday is the same, my chest hasn’t stopped feeling tight since then, Guinevere hates me now, I miss her so much, I just want to be able to talk to her to try and sort things out but she blocked me on everything, all of this was <em> my fault </em>.” Arthur sobbed, spilling out all of his pain in front of Merlin, making himself completely vulnerable. “She… she was everything to me and now she hates me. I… I wanted the pain to stop so I went online to see if I could get something that could help me die. I went to sleep every night wishing that I’d never wake up, but I’d feel crushed every time I woke up, and I didn’t want it to happen anymore. I just wanted it to stop hurting.”</p><p>Merlin offered a tissue to Arthur, who used it to wipe his face down and blow his nose. </p><p>“I… I want someone to care about me again. I don’t care if I become someone’s stress toy, I just want to feel needed by someone. Anyone.” </p><p>At these words, Merlin turns to look at Arthur.<br/>
“I can help you out.” <br/>
“What?”<br/>
“Be my stress toy.”<br/>
“Are you… are you serious?”<br/>
“I’m being completely serious. Were you being completely serious?”</p><p>Arthur paused to think, still at an emotional high after telling Merlin everything. Arthur couldn’t believe that Merlin, who was no more than a friend, was okay with him being his <em> stress toy </em>. It just didn’t match up. Arthur knew what it meant and despite that it was something that he said on the spur of the moment, Merlin was asking him to consider his words. What kind of intent did Merlin have in saying yes? But his chest hurt, everything hurt, and a solution to it all was being presented to him on a silver platter.</p><p>“... Yes. I am.”<br/>
“I will ask again. Will you be my stress toy?”</p><p>It was an opportunity back at life, an opportunity to stop all of the pain. At this point, Arthur was desperate. Desperate enough to give away his body.</p><p>“Yes, I will.”</p><p>“You’re moving in with me. Go and pack your bags, and give me a call when you’re done.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few gruelling hours later, everything was done (Arthur had thrown out a lot of his belongings in an emotional fit on the day of the breakup, so it didn’t take long to pack everything up as he didn’t own much to begin with). Since Arthur rented his apartment and the owner needed some notice that he would no longer be renting, he had time to sort out his furniture later, though he settled on the decision to sell it.</p><p>Merlin’s place of residency was behind his shop, a fairly small living space that consisted of a kitchen, living room, bathroom, and some outdoor area at the back that he used for growing flowers. The first thing that Arthur noticed upon setting foot into his new home was the vase full of white daffodils in the corner of the living room. It reminded him of what he was doing a few hours ago: cleaning up the dead lilies.</p><p>The first thing Merlin did after letting Arthur into his living space was give the snowflower a better home than a spare mug: a little glass vase all for itself. <br/>“I’ll let you unpack your stuff, bedroom is just down that corridor to the left, bathroom to the right, I’ll make dinner in the meantime.” <br/>“Am I to sleep on the couch?” <br/>“No, you’re sharing a room with me. You’re my stress toy now, remember?”</p><p>Being owned was something that was going to take time getting used to.</p><p>The first thing Arthur did was unload his clothes into the spare shelves of Merlin’s wardrobe, noting that his preference for clothing was either flowery or plain, and there really wasn’t much here at all that was interesting. Arthur hung up his clothes on coat hangers that he used before, two dress shirts, pants, blazer, tie, a couple of casual clothes and some pyjamas. After this, he took some time to take in Merlin’s room. A pink paper lotus sat on the bedside table, pink paper sakura lined the walls, all held up by a string hung horizontally, and on a study table that gave a view of the opposite house, a cactus occupied the corner. Arthur would have thought that Merlin would have liked some more flowery eye candy whenever he needed to do anything on that table, but it turned out he wanted something with lower maintenance requirements.</p><p>The smell of meat assaulted Arthur’s nostrils and he suddenly realised that he was very hungry (he thought about all of the times he came home from work, took a shower, and then went straight to sleep without eating), and he couldn’t help but follow it back to its source. Merlin was wearing a plain white t-shirt with brown pants with a light purple apron, stirring the contents of a rather large pot. Arthur didn’t realise that he had been standing there for who knows how long until Merlin turned around with a grin on his face.<br/>“Hungry?” <br/>“Yes- ah, I still need to take out my toiletries. I will be right back.”</p><p><em> That was embarrassing </em>, Arthur thought as he went back to his suitcase. As he stood in the bathroom placing his toothbrush, cup and brush on one side of the sink, he caught a glance of himself in the mirror. His hair was clearly out of shape, he hadn’t brushed it for a few weeks after all, yet no one commented on this. It was probably out of politeness.</p><p>His shampoo and body wash were in the shower (Merlin had a bathtub too, but it didn’t look like it had been used for quite some time), and then it was back to the kitchen because Arthur couldn’t contain his hunger anymore. Merlin’s apron was hung up on a nearby wall and he had already laid out the food on the dining table; beef stew, with potatoes and other green vegetables. It was almost midnight and Arthur was tired but he didn’t care, every spoonful that went into his mouth felt like heaven and when the bowl was empty, he wished that there was more. <br/>“Sorry, that’s all I have for today.” It was as if Merlin read Arthur’s mind. <br/>“Don’t worry about it, I’m full. Thank you for the meal, I’ll help you with the dishes.”</p><p>It turned out Merlin was not a very efficient dish-washer. Arthur had to give some advice in order to speed up the process. </p><p>“Alright, let’s go shower.” Merlin declared after the kitchen was neat and tidy.<br/>“... Together?” <br/>“Yes, of course. It’s getting late and it saves water and time, no?”</p><p>Arthur was nervous, but he had already come so far and he already agreed to throw away all of his dignity, so he headed into the bathroom and stripped alongside Merlin.</p><p>He immediately took note of Merlin’s lean figure, a little muscle on his shoulders and arms from all of the manual labour he had to do as part of his job, but Merlin seemed to have far more concern for Arthur’s own body.<br/>“... No. No, this won’t do.” The white-haired male spoke under his breath, looking at the way Arthur’s ribs were visible, his arms were becoming close to sticks, his hip bones were almost poking out, and his legs were shrivelled. <br/>“What do you mean?”</p><p>Merlin ignored Arthur, his eyes fixated on his chest, and then back up to his face.<br/>“You… you look quite underweight.” Merlin finally concluded. </p><p> </p><p>He stood there for a moment to think before gesturing Arthur to follow him into the shower cubicle. It felt strange, showering with someone else, but Merlin always made sure that Arthur never got cold. When Merlin washed Arthur’s back, his touch was so tender, as if Arthur was something fragile that would break if he rubbed with too much force. The blonde male returned the favour trying to imitate the treatment he received, but he wasn’t so sure that he did it right, even as Merlin gave a satisfied hum as Arthur rubbed soap into his back.</p><p>They promptly dressed, handled other business, and then went to bed.<br/>“Let me spoon you.” Merlin spoke softly. Arthur obeyed, shifting positions, and Merlin’s arm was eventually around his waist. It felt warm, so warm, and suddenly he remembered the times when he cuddled with Guinevere and how happy he was in those moments. Arthur did his best to push the thoughts to the back of mind and think about what he was supposed to be doing right now.</p><p>
  <em> That’s right. I’m a stress toy. </em>
</p><p>“Did you… not want to do it tonight?” Arthur asked, unable to hide the nervousness in his voice.<br/>“No. I just want to cuddle you to sleep.” <br/>“Why not?” <br/>“You… I don’t want to see your body like that. Once you’re healthier, then we can begin.” <br/>“Why are you being nice to me when I’m your stress toy?” <br/>“A lot of things do better when they’re well taken care of. Treat a plant well and its flowers will be beautiful. The same can be said for you.” <br/>“But you’d still be able to get off to me, right?”</p><p>“You’re a human, you know. If I take care of you and make you a happier and healthier person, no doubt that bedroom activities will become better for both you and I, and I think that delaying this gratification is worth it. Don’t you agree?”</p><p>Arthur didn’t know how to respond. He was curious to know what Merlin was feeling right now, what his expression was, what he was thinking about.</p><p>“Well, it’s late, both you and I are tired. Let’s enjoy some sleep.”</p><p>Soon, Arthur could hear Merlin breathing softly behind him, but it seemed to be forever before Arthur was able to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Arthur woke up tired, though that wasn’t unusual, but he got a shock when he realised what the clock read on the bedside table: 9AM.</p><p>“Ah, I’m late to work again.” He got out of bed as quickly as he could, heading towards the wardrobe to get changed. Merlin groaned, stretching his arms, not sounding particularly pleased with the way that he was woken up. <br/>“Where are you going, Arthur?” The florist mumbled, still half asleep. <br/>“I have to go to work-” <br/>“It’s Saturday… you don’t work during the weekends…”</p><p>Arthur froze with his dress shirt in his hands before he put it back onto the shelf. He couldn’t tell whether that was a guess or if Merlin really knew.<br/>“Sorry for waking you up like that.” <br/>“Come back to bed with meee…” Merlin looked at him through half-lidded eyes, arms wide open. Arthur took this as an indirect command, put his shirt back into the wardrobe and returned to Merlin’s embrace underneath the covers. The warmth was comforting yet strange at the same time. <br/>“Can you set an alarm for an hour? I open shop at 12PM…”</p><p>By the time Arthur had finished fiddling with the clock, Merlin had already fallen asleep. Arthur used the time to think about what he could possibly expect of this relationship in the future.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>Somehow, Merlin was energetic when he rose, quickly letting Arthur know before changing and heading to the bathroom while Arthur felt sluggish both physically and mentally. Using it as an excuse, he stayed in bed for a while longer, but when he smelt omelettes cooking from the kitchen, his stomach became enough of a motivation to get up. </p><p>Arthur stared into the mirror as he brushed his teeth, and a tired reflection stared back. </p><p>Breakfast was quickly taken care of (Merlin’s usually smiling face became even brighter when he saw Arthur wolf down the food), but after they were done with the dishes, Merlin put his hands on his hips and looked at Arthur, thinking of something. <br/>“Is there something wrong?” <br/>“How familiar are you with flowers?” <br/>“I have no confidence in my knowledge of them.” <br/>“That’s alright! I’ll teach you about them when there aren’t any customers in the shop.” <br/>“Will that be okay?” <br/>“I just stand around being bored a lot of the time, and I love talking about flowers, so I think we can put you to good use. Besides, a bit of moving wouldn’t hurt, would it?”</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>As it turned out, Merlin had quite a lot to say about the variety of species that he sold in his shop all year around, and Arthur had quite a bit of trouble remembering everything especially as it took him hours to lay down all of what Merlin called “basic knowledge”. He took the time to introduce Arthur to every single species on display, talking about when they bloom, where they came from, how to take care of them best, what diseases and pests could hurt them, what colours they could have and how one could raise flowers with different colours (Merlin knew a lot more about genetics than Arthur expected), and other interesting facts about them such as the edibility of the plant and what else the plants were used for. The odd customer here and there came in to buy goods, but none of them took very long in the shop. Merlin particularly liked this because he wanted to keep talking about flowers and he felt quite passionately about them. It made sense considering he was a florist. </p><p>Arthur expected to think a lot about Guinevere considering the general romantic nature of flowers, but Merlin kept going on and on about concepts that Arthur didn’t necessarily understand, it was almost as if he didn’t have time to think about his ex-girlfriend. Even if he did, Merlin was always there to poke him to make sure he was listening (maybe Arthur made it obvious somehow whenever he was lost in his thoughts), and his tired mind was back to processing the abundance amount of information that he probably didn’t need to know. Perhaps Merlin wanted him to help him out at the shop during the weekends? It wasn’t like Arthur could say no, Merlin practically owned him at this point.</p><p>5PM quickly arrived, and Merlin began to pack up before he eyed someone running towards the store in a hurry.<br/>“Oh, Lancelot! What brings you here?” <br/>“I’m sorry Merlin, I hope that I wasn’t too late.” A deep voice spoke as he tried to catch his breath. <br/>“No no, I haven’t closed yet, you just arrived at the last minute and I don’t mind letting you stick around for a bit longer. Business is slow on the weekends anyway.” </p><p>Arthur continued to stand next to Merlin, but knew that he was automatically distanced from the conversation given that Merlin and Lancelot already knew each other.</p><p>“So, going to use some flowers to decorate your home?”<br/>“No, um… I want to confess to a girl and I want to offer her a flower…” <br/>“Aww, how romantic.” Merlin paused. “... Wait a minute. Don’t you already have a girlfriend?” <br/>“Yes, but…” <br/>“It’s not good to treat your current girlfriend like that, you know. You should at least break things off before starting anew.” <br/>“I don’t want to hurt her though… she’s a great person and…” Merlin sensed that the situation was quickly becoming uncomfortable.</p><p>“On the bright side, meet my new friend! His name is Arthur and he’ll be around during the weekends.” The florist lit up at the introduction, and to be honest, Arthur was fairly embarrassed. <br/>“Hello, it’s nice to meet you.” He extended a hand, which Lancelot took and shook with good strength and grip. <br/>“It’s nice to meet you too. I’m sure you will do a good job for Merlin.” The purple-haired male returned with a smile. <br/>“Now then, the flower… did you have anything in mind?” The florist was quick to offer assistance. </p><p>As expected, Lancelot wanted a red rose. Arthur pondered Lancelot’s situation, unable to understand why anyone would be okay with cheating on their significant others. Guinevere was his <em> everything </em>, and cheating would have hurt her too. Maybe Lancelot was a selfish person? He did state earlier that he didn’t want to break up his current girlfriend because he didn’t want to hurt her, but wouldn’t he cause her more pain in the long run by cheating? There would also be the trouble he would have to go through in order to hide his relationships from each other, but it all seemed like a recipe for disaster waiting to happen…</p><p>“Hello, Arthur? You there?” Merlin poked Arthur in the cheek, successfully grabbing his attention.<br/>“Sorry, were you saying something?” <br/>“Now that the shop is closed, I’ll teach you how things work here and how we pack up shop. First you need to bring in the flowers that have been set up outside…”</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p> </p><p>If Arthur had doubts about Merlin’s cooking skills at any point, he no longer had them, because they were amazing to say the least. Today’s menu was fried rice with assorted vegetables, and Arthur loved every single bit of it. <br/>“Hahaha, it’s delicious, isn’t it?” Merlin laughed as Arthur attempted to finish every single grain. <br/>“Yes, it is.” </p><p>Arthur noted that this atmosphere seemed oddly familiar, almost as if Guinevere was the one cooking for him. Usually he would go around to her side of the table and give her a kiss, but this was Merlin and not his ex-girlfriend. Arthur headed to the sink to begin cleaning up his bowls, but Merlin set his bowl into it and reached for the tea towel.<br/>“You’re not going to let me do all of the dishes by myself?” The blonde man asked. <br/>“It’ll be faster if we work together.” </p><p>Why was Merlin being so nice to him? This confused Arthur terribly.</p><p>“You could have just asked me to do all the work, you know.” <br/>“Just because I can get you to do whatever I want doesn’t mean that I choose to do so. I’m allowed to be considerate.” <br/>“But why be considerate?” <br/>“Because I feel like it.”</p><p>Arthur was no less confused. It seemed like there was something else behind that last statement, but Merlin wasn’t giving him any clues and Arthur didn’t like it.</p><p>The shower was uneventful. Merlin wanted to cuddle afterwards so Arthur was in his arms once again in the bed. Being cuddled by another man was definitely a whole different experience to cuddling a woman, but for some reason, it wasn’t something that he particularly disliked. Maybe all of the emotional pain was amplifying the satisfaction he got from physical intimacy. <br/>“So… any weak spots that you know of?” Merlin asked, massaging Arthur’s shoulders. <br/>“Weak spots?” <br/>“Sensitive spots.” <br/>“Not that I know of, no.”</p><p>“You’ve never explored your body?” Merlin’s arms wrapped around Arthur’s waist, teasing at the edge of his shirt. <br/>“No, not really…” <br/>“Hmm… interesting. Caught up with studies and work?” <br/>“I suppose so.” <br/>“Are you still a virgin?”</p><p>It really went into his head at that moment that Arthur’s first time would be with a man. Sexual activity was territory that even he and Guinevere hadn’t been to, and he clearly hadn’t been thinking this far when he said yes to this relationship. He must have been in such an emotional wreck when he said yes to being a stress toy without thinking much about the implications.</p><p>“... Yes.”<br/>“Ah. When was the last time you’ve touched yourself?” <br/>“It’s been a really long time.” <br/>“Well then… let’s keep you pent up for your first time, shall we?” </p><p>Merlin’s husky voice next to Arthur’s eye sent chills down his spine. It took a couple of moments to process the thought properly.</p><p>“Wait. <em> My </em> first time? You mean this isn’t…” <br/>“No, I’m not a virgin.” Arthur couldn’t help but be curious. <br/>“Who did you do it with first?” <br/>“Some other porn actor… Bedivere, that’s right.” <br/>“You used to be a porn actor?!” <br/>“I needed some money to support myself and to get this florist off the ground, you know.” Arthur was sure that Merlin was smiling behind him, and was caught a little off guard when his hands snuck underneath his shirt, beginning to feel around his abdomen. </p><p>“You could use some skin care in general.” Merlin remarked. <br/>“I don’t bother with it, it’s of no use to me…” <br/>“Since you’re a toy now, I should make you as delicious as possible, and that includes making your skin as smooth and nice~” Merlin’s hands travelled up his sides and slid over Arthur’s nipples. The sudden sensation made Arthur gasp a little, and Merlin laughed. <br/>“Interesting, so you have sensitive nipples. I like it.” The white-haired male withdrew his hands from underneath the clothing and rested them on Arthur’s stomach. <br/>“Ah, were you not going to…” <br/>“I’m just teasing you. If I keep on doing so then you'll want it more and then your first time will feel amazing.”</p><p>“Why does it matter how I feel? I thought you getting off was the most important thing.”<br/>“My my, I didn’t expect you to be so enthusiastic about this whole thing. Do you want me to treat you like an actual toy?” <br/>“N-no, I mean…” Arthur knew Merlin was teasing by the lilt of his voice. “I just don’t understand your intentions.” <br/>“If I can make other people happy, then I’m happy.” <br/>“Then does that mean… you only really feel it when the other person is into it too?” <br/>“Precisely.”</p><p>Arthur’s brain stopped working for a second. Merlin laughed. </p><p>“Didn’t you say before that you didn’t understand people?”<br/>“Yes.” <br/>“Then why did you decide to put yourself into this relationship with me? I thought you liked flowers better than people.” <br/>“It’s a secret~” Arthur was still confused, but decided to let it pass. Merlin clearly had no intention of revealing his intentions, and Arthur wondered whether it would come to light some time later into their relationship. It might even have to wait after they start having sex. It was almost scary that Merlin knew his way around Arthur as well as Guinevere did when they had barely known each other outside of a few casual conversations prior to this relationship.</p><p>“Would you like a small snack? I’m craving some biscuits.” Merlin suddenly piped up.<br/>“No, I’m alright.” Arthur tried to be polite, but the white-haired man saw straight through him. <br/>“You’re coming out with me to get a snack anyway.” </p><p>Back to the kitchen they went. Merlin opened up a container from a cupboard and he was eating before Arthur even sat down. For a few moments, the blonde watched him eat, noting his concentration on the texture and the taste of the snack, but it didn’t take long before Merlin offered Arthur a biscuit.</p><p>“Say aahhh,” Merlin held the biscuit to Arthur’s mouth, and he obediently ate it from Merlin’s hand. These biscuits were slightly sweet and tasty. “Good boy,” the florist cooed as Arthur chewed, not particularly sure on how to react to this. A week ago he wouldn’t have thought that he’d be fed treats by this particular man who he saw on the way home every day from work, like he was his pet. Well… he was pretty much his pet anyway, in a supposed lewd fashion. Merlin petted his head and when Arthur gave him a confused expression in return, he laughed. <br/>“Now now, you’ll come to enjoy my head pats.”</p><p>They returned to the bedroom, with Merlin wanting to cuddle more. Arthur’s head was resting against Merlin’s chest, and he could hear the thumping of the heart inside. It made him realise how fragile human life was, if this organ stopped pumping, then everything would cease and the person, with all of their history, relationships and personality, would die with it. In the grander scheme of things it seemed like nothing, but imagining someone dying and their whole world going with them… suicide was never a decision taken lightly, but Arthur was willing to go ahead with it despite all of it until Merlin came along.<br/>“Do you have friends? Apart from me, of course.” Merlin asked, putting an arm around Arthur’s chest. <br/>“No, not really. I made some connections during university but I don’t really talk to them anymore.” <br/>“So… no one to emotionally support you?”</p><p>“I only have my older sister, Artoria. We’re quite close, even though we live apart and are doing our own thing now.”<br/>“Interesting, have you told her of our arrangement?” <br/>“No, not yet.” <br/>“Do you plan on telling her anytime soon?” <br/>“... I don’t think so.”</p><p>“I think her reaction would be interesting.” Arthur sighed at this, and Merlin reached up to stroke Arthur’s hair.<br/>“You need to take proper care of your hair, too.” Merlin noted. <br/>“Are you trying to make me into a model?” Arthur retorted. <br/>“Oh no, why would I want to show you to the world when I can keep you for myself?” The florist played along with the joke with a chuckle. The blonde man had no response to it and elected to stay silent. </p><p>“Ah, I almost forgot. I planned to take a scenic walk tomorrow morning with a friend, would you like to come along?” The florist asked, stroking Arthur’s hair.<br/>“Do I have a choice?” Merlin pondered for a moment. <br/>“... No, you don’t. We’re getting up early tomorrow. Set the alarm to 5AM.” Merlin being demanding was always a jarring juxtaposition to his usually laid-back attitude <br/>“Why so early?” <br/>“Because we want to see the sunrise.” </p><p>Arthur had a flashback to when he found a cliff near to the university he studied at, and went there with Guinevere one morning. He remembered sitting on that bench next to her as she leaned onto his shoulder as they talked about the stresses of final exams coming up, he remembered the soft and tender kiss that they shared that made his heart flutter. This time, the sunrise viewing would be for a completely different reason; just a casual visit with a friend to see their friend. While Merlin slept comfortably beside him as the bigger spoon, Arthur’s mind went back to his days as a university student, studying and being hopelessly in love.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Arthur and Merlin approached their designated meeting spot, only to find that his friend was already there.</span>
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  <span>“Long time no see, Merlin.” A male with silvery hair gave a pat on Merlin’s shoulder, and the florist returned the favour.</span>
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  <span>“Long time no see indeed, Bedivere.” Merlin smiled in the dim lighting of the sun.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Wait… Merlin lost his virginity to this guy? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Arthur could barely contain his surprise.</span>
</p>
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  <span>“Oh, I almost forgot, this is Arthur.” Merlin touched Arthur’s back with his palm. </span>
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  <span>“Ah, so you’re the one that Merlin keeps on talking about.” Bedivere turned to look at the blonde man.</span>
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  <span>“It’s nice to meet you... Bedivere, was it?” Arthur stayed polite, extending a hand.</span>
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  <span>“Yes, I’m Bedivere. It’s nice to meet you too.” A handshake. Merlin beamed. </span>
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  <span>“Well, let’s get going to look-out before it’s too late.” The florist suggested, with the other two nodding in agreement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was not involved in conversation a lot of the time, but he was content with listening to Merlin and Bedivere talk. The vast majority of it was catching up, how Merlin successfully opened the florist shop and managed to keep it going, how Bedivere was still involved in the porn industry and all the things that happened that allowed him to become more successful. The way that they discussed it so casually was interesting to Arthur, considering that this topic was heavily censored in general. Maybe it was because they had gone through so much physical intimacy that it became normalised to them.</span>
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  <span>“Wait, you told Arthur about your first time?” Bedivere’s voice cut through Arthur’s thoughts.</span>
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  <span>“Yes.” Merlin replied, seemingly with glee.</span>
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  <span>“... Ah, that’s embarrassing…”</span>
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  <span>“I mean, he probably would have stumbled upon the video at some point. I’m fairly sure it’s still floating around on the internet somewhere.”</span>
</p>
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  <span>“It looks like I have been exposed.” Bedivere sighed in defeat.</span>
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  <span>“It’s okay, I didn’t go into the details, just said that I lost my virginity to you.”</span>
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  <span>“Why did you even bother telling him?”</span>
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  <span>“Because we were on the topic. It’s got to come up at some point, right?”</span>
  <span>
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  <span>“That’s true…”</span>
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  <span>“I really hope he doesn’t watch it…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur decided that it was time to chip in.</span>
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  <span>“Don’t worry, I won’t search it up.”</span>
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  <span>“Naw, it’s okay, Bedivere.” Merlin practically clapped Arthur’s shoulder. “I’ll search it up for him and then we’ll thoroughly enjoy it together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope you’re joking.” Bedivere looked horrified for a moment before Merlin laughed.</span>
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  <span>“Relax, I’m joking. I’m not going to show someone a porno just because I was in it.”</span>
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  <span>“I’m glad that you still have some sanity left.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To Arthur, his virginity was something special that he would have liked to give away to someone that he truly loved (ideally a soulmate, if they existed), he couldn’t understand how some people would lose theirs to a stranger and be okay with it. Suddenly, Arthur felt uneasy with this whole relationship with Merlin and how he would be getting fucked for the first time by this florist that he happened to pass everyday on the way to work, but this was something that he agreed to, and Merlin was someone who was going to give him a purpose in life, even if it cost him his dignity. He thought about how he planned to lose his virginity to Guinevere, and then maybe he would have a family with her, and then they’d live happily ever after…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin snapped Arthur out of his trance.</span>
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  <span>“Hey, sleepyhead, we’re going to grab some coffee after watching the sunrise.”</span>
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  <span>“... Okay.” Internally, Arthur facepalmed at giving such a plain, flat answer that basically proved Merlin’s point. Bedivere chuckled. </span>
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  <span>“He doesn’t seem like he’s used to such early mornings.” The silver-haired man commented.</span>
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  <span>“No, not really. It takes him a bit of time to wake up, some caffeine should do the trick.” </span>
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  <span>“Remember that one time when you fell asleep while standing up and I had to catch you prince style?” Bedivere began to grin.</span>
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  <span>“Oh no, not that incident.” </span>
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  <span>“Have you seen the photoshopped version of the picture?”</span>
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  <span>“Wait, people took pictures?”</span>
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  <span>“Yes. The rest of the staff laughed at that for a week.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop embarrassing me.” Merlin pouted.</span>
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  <span>“This is payback for before.” Bedivere retorted. </span>
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  <span>“... Since when did you loosen up?” The florist asked after a moment.</span>
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  <span>“You mean…”</span>
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  <span>“No, not down there, I mean your language.” Merlin almost burst out laughing at Bedivere thinking in such a dirty manner.</span>
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  <span>“Ah, well… a coworker I really like said that I will be more approachable and appear friendlier to others if I speak more casually, so I made an effort to change how I spoke. She seemed really happy when she knew that I tried.”<br/></span>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>She</span>
  </em>
  <span>? I thought you were gay this whole time, you’re bisexual?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“She helped me a lot in getting more job opportunities, and I consider her to be a close friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aww, that’s cute of her. Maybe you should ask her out.” Merlin suggested, grinning.</span>
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  <span>“Merlin, you can’t just ask people out like that. You should at least think a little more before indirectly telling someone that you’re potentially romantically attracted to them.”</span>
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  <span>“Didn’t you tell me that you put barely any initial thought into showing yourself fucking and being fucked for money?”</span>
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  <span>“Yes, but at least- ugh.” Merlin couldn’t help but laugh hard, with Bedivere shooting a glare at him. Arthur tried to think about the last time he had a conversation of this nature to literally any other human being. It was probably sometime before the breakup happened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we’re pretty much there and the sun is just about to come up.” Merlin thought aloud, and Arthur savoured the scenery as much as he could. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were atop quite the hill, tall enough to give a good view of the entire city and the sun rising behind it, it’s light reflecting off the glass of tall buildings. The three of them sat at the bench that gave them the best view, and Arthur felt that this was more than worth the effort waking up. It has been forever since he took such a walk out to enjoy the outdoors a little, the plants, the gentle cool breeze, the bird calls and the sunlight, and, for some reason or another, he found the experience to be invigorating to the point where it felt like anything was possible, including getting out of this breakup and this emotional slump. The only people within sight were the occasional jogger, as well as Merlin and Bedivere nearby. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even though the situation was very different to the time he watched the sunrise a few years ago, it felt incredibly nostalgic. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sun made its way over the horizon much faster than Arthur had initially thought, the last half an hour or so seemed to rush by in an instant. Merlin and Bedivere had stayed silent the entire time, but when they started to make their way back to the city, they erupted into conversation about the old times again, going back a little bit further in time. Bedivere already had a cafe in mind to sit down at to drink a nice hot cup of coffee, exchanging even more words before they parted ways.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur checked his mobile phone. “Ah, it’s about 8AM now. What should we do?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We go to the chemist to buy a few things.” It seemed that Merlin had already planned things out.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What kinds of things?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hmm… let’s see…” The florist put a hand to his chin. “We’ll need some condoms, body lotion and moisturiser… some good shampoo and a facial cleanser. Oh, and some lube too.” Arthur’s face heated up in embarrassment. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Um… I’ll pay.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No, I’ll pay. None of these things are necessities, just that I specifically want these things in order to enhance our experience together.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Don’t condoms make it feel less good for you?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Surprising to hear that you instantly assumed a submissive position.” Arthur’s facial heat blew off the charts. “Also, it saves cleanup.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“If I’m your stress toy, of course it would be safe to assume that you would be on top.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin laughed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The florist shop opened at 12PM again, after an early lunch that consisted of a fairly filled sandwich. The amount of traffic the shop received was the same, and Merlin went about his flower talk again, except this time covering the flowers that were currently not present in the shop, either because they were out of season or he was unable to get his hands on them for some other reason (Arthur wasn’t sure whether getting them would have been a good idea considering how packed the shop currently was). With the way Merlin was almost rambling, there was no way of telling whether he was closer to the beginning or the end of his knowledge by the time the shop closed for the day. While dinner was mostly uneventful, Arthur enjoyed every bit of the food, and he thought that the rest of the night would be uneventful… until they came out of the shower and Merlin’s smile and narrowed eyes screamed that he was up to something.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We need to apply the lotion on you.” Merlin started, unable to control his glee.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You sound awfully excited.” Arthur commented, mentally bracing himself for what was about to come. Merlin’s gaze wandered around his body and Arthur had never felt so exposed in his life.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes, I am indeed, because I get to touch you~”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But you already have.” Arthur was trying to be as flat as possible in order to hide his nervousness but Merlin saw right through him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Just stay still and everything will be okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The florist started with Arthur’s neck first, quickly moving to his shoulders, his arms, his chest and his back. The blonde man felt awfully self-conscious considering his lack of muscle, or of anything that wasn’t skin and bone, but when he looked at Merlin, his face only showed a faint satisfaction, like he was performing maintenance on a prized possession. Like watering or providing fertiliser for a flower. Or taking care of Arthur’s body for sexual purposes. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Relax.” Merlin whispered as Arthur tensed, when he reached the abdomen area, caressing his sides and his hips. Arthur couldn’t stop a “ngh!” as Merlin continued to tease his sides, much to his delight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, so you’re sensitive there too.” He thought aloud, going down further and Arthur’s nervousness hit a peak… Merlin avoided his dick entirely (for some reason Arthur thought he was going to grab it considering his generally joking nature), massaging the lotion into his thighs.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Spread a little wider for me.” Merlin made eye contact, giving Arthur the most seductive look that he could. Arthur obliged, the dirty talk getting to him a little, and this allowed the florist to apply the lotion on the inside of his thighs, his hands occasionally coming dangerously close to Arthur’s genitals. This repeated itself a few times (Merlin was smiling the whole time and Arthur wondered if it was because he enjoyed watching him squirm), before Merlin’s hands snaked around and suddenly he groped his ass, taking great pleasure into rubbing the lotion into it. At this, Arthur’s facial temperature skyrocketed. Finally he was satisfied with his work, and he went down to Arthur’s calves and feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, all done!” Merlin clapped his hands together while beaming. “I want to watch you put on the moisturiser.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Uh… okay.” Arthur didn’t really understand why, but he obeyed anyway. “How much should I use?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“About this much.” Merlin supplied Arthur with a small amount of it on his outstretched hand, before he got to work, making sure to rub the cream well into his face. The white-haired male stared at him with some kind of mischief in his eyes, that was a telltale sign that he was about to do something, and Arthur grew nervous again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look at me.” Merlin leaned in, his face dangerously close to Arthur’s, a thumb on his bottom lip. Arthur wasn’t nearly as mentally ready as he would have liked and his heart was racing way too fast, but he decided that the best course of action would be to stop thinking and just accept that he was about to be kissed by another man that he didn’t have romantic feelings for. He closed his eyes, expecting something soft to meet his lips…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing happened for a good few seconds, and when he opened his eyes, Merlin’s laugh that he was so desperately holding in finally erupted. Arthur internally cringed as he realised that it was all supposed to be a prank.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I didn’t realise you’d fall for it.” He managed during his laughter and Arthur sighed, not exactly knowing what to say. “Just kidding, I was teasing you, unless you wanted to be kissed by me? I’m a professional regarding that, you know.” Merlin meant it in almost a literal sense; he had past experiences, after all.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well… I’m not mentally ready yet…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I thought as much. We have some time, would you like to read together in bed?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have any books though…” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That’s alright, I have some that you might be interested in. What genres do you like?” Arthur had to really search through his mind as it had been a while since he read books… no doubt that because of the breakup, all of his energy was spent just getting himself to work and back.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I think I like drama.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh cool, I finished a really good one some time ago. It’s about a girl who found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her, and she goes out to find success by herself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur wondered whether Merlin really had finished it recently, or if the story had some similarities to what was happening right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll read it, thank you for the recommendation.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Let’s get to bed now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their pyjamas were on, Merlin was far too eager to climb into bed. As they propped up their pillows and sat next to each other, the florist tapped his shoulder. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You can lean on me while we read.” Merlin said when Arthur failed to get the hint, and the blonde man knew that he was indirectly instructing him, so he closed the distance, his head on his shoulder. Arthur tried to read the book, but he could only think about the times when Guinevere would lean in on his shoulder, and sometimes she’d fall asleep there. He remembered petting her head, stroking her hair, putting an arm around her waist and hugging her closer…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thinking about something?” Merlin’s voice cut through Arthur’s thoughts, and he realised that he had been staring off into space with the book in his lap.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Sorry, it’s nothing.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You don’t need to lie to me, you know.” Arthur wasn’t sure how to respond, so he went back to the book at hand, forcing his mind to focus on it a second time. Already on the first page, Arthur’s attention was captured, and he could almost feel the emotions described in the book as it continued to push his mind into a fictional world…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Two hours flew by, and Merlin had to remind Arthur of the time before they went to bed. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Does 7AM sound like a good time to wake up?” Arthur asked, putting the books down on the bedside table before reaching for the alarm clock.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It sounds good to me.” Merlin left the bed to turn off the lights, and did so as he saw Arthur set the clock back in its original place.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Goodnight, Arthur. Sleep well.” He felt Merlin’s body behind him and an arm over his waist.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Goodnight, Merlin.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin fell asleep quickly as usual, and Arthur couldn’t help but think about the book, and his mind replayed the day of the breakup over and over again until he was too tired to stay awake.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next day was a public holiday (Arthur completely forgot this the previous night), so there was no need for Arthur to go to work, but Merlin still opened his shop as if it was just another weekday. Arthur guessed that it was to earn that bit of extra money.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Today turned out to be a mix of Merlin talking and asking Arthur to run errands. Since the florist now had an extra hand, Arthur prepared lunch (so that Merlin didn’t have to leave the shop to do so) and organised the orders that Merlin had received online. As the orders were prepared, Merlin happily went on about how to organise the flowers into a nice bouquet, and what to put into it according to the client’s budget. Eventually Arthur began to get the hang of it, but there was a slight issue: Merlin overloaded Arthur with enough information the previous two days that he had almost forgotten everything, so he was unable to help Merlin with the orders. He was more than happy to educate again though, and Arthur felt a bit useless having to stand by and observe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even though it had only been a short amount of time being with Merlin in the florist, his overwhelming energy was beginning to become infectious. Arthur knew that this was (or at least partially) a front that he displayed to customers in order to make them feel welcome and encourage them to spend on the flowers, but it was beginning to wear off on him and he couldn’t help but feel genuinely bright and bubbly (if even only a little) whenever Merlin introduced him as an assistant to returning customers who had not seen Arthur before. This was certainly more effective than caffeine and the emotional hit would have been beneficial to his productivity if he was able to get this every morning, Arthur thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lunch was a sandwich again, and this time with a different filling. Merlin, complimenting him, gave Arthur some hope that he wasn’t that terrible at cooking. Customer after customer came in and bought goods and he felt so happy… until the afternoon came and Lancelot came to visit with another woman, introducing her as his girlfriend.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh, hello, Lancelot! What brings you here?” Merlin greeted, cheerful as usual. If he was feeling tense about the current situation, he was not showing it at all.</span>
  <span></span>
    <br/>
  
  <span>“Good day, Merlin. My girlfriend was interested in the shop since she loves flowers in general, and I thought why not visit a friend at the same time? You could say that we’re out on a date.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Aww, how cute. Anyhow, this is my assis-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin turned to introduce Arthur to her, but his facial expression only showed a mixture of dread and despair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“... Guinevere?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Arthur saw Guinevere enter the shop, arm linked with Lancelot’s, he swore that his heart dropped out of his body and somewhere into the depths of hell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin read the atmosphere quickly but unlike usual, he made no immediate attempt to solve the growing amount of hostility that was beginning to form between Arthur and Guinevere.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... So you’re here now. New part time job?” Guinevere’s voice and expression was completely unreadable. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I work here whenever I’m not at the office.” Arthur felt his hands go cold, and he was so nervous that he just gave the truth. His brain went into overdrive and he had no way of knowing whether that response was the best one to give.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Workaholic as always, I see. How are things going in general?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“They’re going alright, how about you?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m doing pretty well now since then, thank you.” Guinevere smiled. From the outside, it may have looked sincere, but Arthur could feel that something was not quite right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-what’s going on?” Lancelot was confused and just like that, his new girlfriend’s attitude completely changed from apparent indifference to smugness.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well well, guess who has a new relationship here. At least he loves me back, unlike a certain other person who left me behind.” Arthur knew better than to talk about his relationship with Merlin (not only because it was completely inappropriate, but it was also somewhat forced). </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’ve… I’ve moved on too.” Arthur tried, but Guinevere knew too well.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No, you liar. Or… is that the truth, because you never loved me in the first place?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Woah woah, no fighting in my shop.” Merlin tried to break things up, but Guinevere wasn’t having it.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I can’t believe you faked this entire thing, and you were just using me because I’m a girl and you just wanted to be able to put your hands on me and pretend that it was a relationship.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“That’s not true!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Then why did you do this to me?! All of this time I cried and cried because you wouldn’t talk to me and it hurt like hell, how are you okay with treating anyone like this?” Lancelot put an arm around Guinevere’s waist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Arthur… is what she’s saying true?” He spoke softly, trying to comfort Guinevere by pulling her closer.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes. That was really what happened.” Arthur decided that defending himself would only make matters worse, and his chest grew tighter and tighter until it was almost suffocating him. He thought that he could begin to heal his wounds but Guinevere’s appearance just ripped it open again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s leave, Lancelot. I don’t want to see him again.” Guinevere announced, and her boyfriend agreed, not wanting to have to be dragged outside, but Arthur wasn’t finished.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Guinevere, I know I didn’t deserve you, but I also know what you don’t deserve.” She turned around, giving Arthur such a death glare that pierced straight into his soul.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t deserve to be cheated on!” Arthur spoke loudly, gaining his foot back. His emotions were going crazy right now but he didn’t care.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... What?” While her voice was low, it was almost as if the word stabbed into Arthur.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Lancelot is cheating on another girlfriend with you.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Do you… do you really?” Guinevere turned to the purple-haired man, tears forming in her eyes.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No, he’s lying-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“He has another girlfriend, Guinevere.” Merlin stepped in this time, speaking as if he had all the relationship experience in the world, and all the pain of being cheated on was being channeled into his voice. He’d seen it time and time again, and he wanted to intervene earlier before it all spiraled out of control and the consequences were far more dire. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I can’t believe this…” Guinevere stepped away from Lancelot, now crying. “I… How could you?! I hate you! All this time I just want someone to treat me right and then this shit happens!” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Guinevere, wait-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Shut up! I’m sick and tired of dealing with people like you!” She threw a punch right into Lancelot’s jaw, who recoiled at the impact, and she ran away into the street, her sobbing audible from within the shop. Lancelot looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span> as he watched Guinevere disappear into the distance.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Arthur… Merlin… why did you do this?” He asked, about to cry himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Guinevere is a great person. I… I can’t stand to see her be in this situation.” Arthur started.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Is it because you’re her ex-boyfriend?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s the only reason why I would know how good of a person she is. I wasn’t trying to get back onto her good side, just… I don’t want her to be even more heartbroken if she finds out later down the track.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You could have just kept it down and everything, I could have just broken up with my old girlfriend and then-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Then why didn’t you do it before you confessed to Guinevere?” Arthur interrupted.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I… I didn’t want Guinevere to be taken by someone else.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Wait, you’re fighting over her?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I had to take the chance before them and now all of it has gone to waste…” At this point, Lancelot’s voice shook, a tear threatening to spill over.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Lancelot.” Merlin spoke up, before taking a step towards Lancelot. “I have seen many people go down that path and fail. I don’t want you to be like those people who are ruined to the core when it could have been prevented.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Merlin…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, at least you know what to do next time. I’m sure that another opportunity will come up.” Merlin smiled slightly, putting a hand on Lancelot’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... I’m going to go home now. I’m sorry that this has had to happen.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No need to apologise again. You can give me a call if you ever want to talk, okay?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Okay. Thank you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that, Lancelot left. Arthur was still on an emotional high. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I won’t say whether you did the right or wrong thing, but… I admire how much you care for her, even long after she doesn’t care about you anymore.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“This is… this is the least I can do to atone for my mistakes.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>By the time the next customer came, Merlin’s previously solemn tone was completely gone, his usual energy kicking in again. No matter how much Arthur tried to psych himself up, all of his smiles felt completely forced and he hoped that he wasn’t making customers feel uncomfortable. The rest of the day flew by without much of an event.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even though Merlin made an absolutely delicious macaroni and cheese with some roasted broccoli and carrots on the side, the gloom continued to hang over Arthur as he worked through his meal.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Are you still thinking about what happened earlier today?” Merlin asked, sounding genuinely concerned. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes.” Arthur didn’t find any point in lying.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... What do you think of this relationship with me, now that you know that I’ve had multiple previous sexual partners?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur could kind of see how today and Merlin’s question fit together, but even though he wasn’t 100% sure, he decided to go along with it anyway.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“As long as you don’t have any STDs, that’s fine with me.” Arthur replied after some thought.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Because our relationship is not romantic, it’s just physical.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin went silent. Arthur didn’t know how to interpret it.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Sorry about what happened today, I could have-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No, don’t apologise for it. A scene would have happened anyway.” Merlin interrupted.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But I could have gone to the back room.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m sure that fate made that meeting happen.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Maybe there was-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Let’s not talk about it anymore. What’s in the past has passed, and I don’t think you’ll be seeing her again, unless by coincidence.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur thought that it was interesting that Merlin believed in fate. The rest of dinner was spent without another word, and even though Merlin wanted to close the topic completely, that atmosphere extended to the rest of the night. Usually he would have cracked a joke or two, or teased Arthur a bit in order to lighten the mood, but this time something felt different, as if Merlin suddenly wasn’t… Merlin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They spooned again like usual as they went to bed, but it was almost as if they weren’t in the same room at all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A month flew by and Arthur didn’t realise that he had been with Merlin for so long until he looked at the bathroom mirror one morning before work and realised that his expression was no longer bogged down by exhaustion and emotional baggage. Arthur wondered whether this was because of all of the physical contact that they’ve had, or if his friendship with Merlin was what fixed him. Even though he barely spoke about Guinevere with Merlin if at all (unless he was prompted to), it was as if he had some direction in life away from what happened in the past, though he wasn’t quite sure what that direction was other than getting by in life and tending to Merlin’s physical needs. So far, it was just cuddles and teasing, but Arthur wanted to know when the main event was going to begin, so that he could mentally prepare for it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He remembered the previous night as Merlin got the lotion out and worked on Arthur’s skin again after their shower, and how much </span>
  <em>
    <span>healthier</span>
  </em>
  <span> Arthur’s body looked. His limbs weren’t sticks anymore, and in general his muscles were showing themselves. Merlin felt particularly pleased at this, not only was it making sure Arthur ate three good meals a day, he also practically forced Arthur into a nearby gym that Merlin frequented back during his sex worker days. Initially, the prospect of doing so was daunting, but Merlin being there to teach him the ropes was comforting, and having him do the exercises alongside Arthur was even more relieving. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was fairly sure that his body was in good enough shape that Merlin would want to fuck him, now it was just a waiting game to see when Merlin would make the move.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On this particular weekday when Arthur returned from work, Merlin asked him to make dinner himself as he had to make a phone call and stepped outside. This was out of the ordinary, but Arthur paid no heed, maybe Merlin wanted to talk to family or needed to handle something else, it was none of his business anyhow. Merlin already had all of the ingredients ready; marinated beef, leafy greens and rice, and all Arthur needed to do was to get everything cooked. By the time he was finished, he plated the food and sat down at the dining table, electing to wait for Merlin to come back to begin eating with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A stressed-looking Merlin came back a few minutes later, his eyes looking everywhere but Arthur’s way, his shoulders tensed. Arthur had seen Merlin’s serious expressions, but it was so much so that Arthur couldn’t help but feel concerned. It took a lot for Merlin’s usual brightness to be taken down.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Is everything okay?” Arthur asked, but Merlin made no eye contact as he made his way to the dinner table and sat down.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... No. But it’s not something I’d like to talk about.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Okay.” It was most likely something pretty sensitive if it was able to put Merlin into this sort of mood. Dinner was spent in awkward silence, and so was the cleanup. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shower was done, but when they got back to the bedroom, Merlin closed the door before tackling Arthur onto the bed, immediately locking him into a kiss. Arthur could only let out a surprised squeak at the back of his throat as Merlin pressed his full body weight on him, pinning him down. Even if he wanted to escape, Merlin was doing things to his mouth that was causing his brain to short-circuit. He desperately tried to regain control of his body again, wanting to ask Merlin whether everything was okay, but Merlin wasn’t having it, and he only broke off when Arthur thought he would pass out from the lack of air, only to dive back in once Arthur had caught his breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were still naked from the shower earlier, so there was nothing in Merlin’s way as his hands went down to Arthur’s nipples, pinching and playing with them with enough strength that it hurt and felt good at the same time. Arthur wasn’t sure whether he liked this, but he certainly couldn’t stop the noises that were coming out of him as Merlin continued to kiss him relentlessly. For all of it, Arthur was brought to the brink of unconsciousness, his vision swimming as everything began to feel slightly distant before it came crashing back as Merlin allowed him precious air, all while toying with his body. Arthur didn’t know whether it was Merlin’s tongue or the lack of oxygen or knowing that he couldn’t escape from this, but every single sensation felt like it was being amplified and he didn’t know if it was for the better or worse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally Merlin was done kissing him and went to attack his neck instead, sucking and grazing the skin with his teeth. This sent a shock down Arthur’s spine and he let out a particularly loud “ah!” before covering his mouth with one hand in an attempt to hold down any other noises, not wanting the neighbours to hear him. For a moment, Arthur was fearful that Merlin would leave a mark that he wouldn’t be able to cover up, but he felt a bit of relief wash over him as Merlin moved down, only to suddenly bite his collarbone. It stung, but the spike of pain was immediately drowned out by the sensations coming from his chest. They hadn’t even gotten to the main event yet and Arthur was becoming uncomfortably hot, and not just from Merlin’s body heat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin’s hands went to Arthur’s abdomen, feeling all of the skin that he had softened with the lotion over the course of the last couple of weeks, all the muscle that he had helped Arthur to build in the gym. The sensation felt completely different to Merlin applying the lotion, it was as if his touch left sparks in its wake, but before Arthur could fully process it, Merlin bit down onto a pink bud. Arthur yelped, the hand in front of his mouth not really helping him contain it, and the nipple became tender enough that it almost hurt as Merlin began to use his tongue on it. Just as the pain and pleasure was beginning to tip out of balance in favour of pain, Merlin’s fingertips began to dance around Arthur’s genitals, circling around his inner thighs and lower abdomen. At this, Arthur’s dick rapidly hardened, and soon the teasing began to drive him insane.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin moved his mouth away from his chest, deciding not to tend to the other nipple, and bit down on his stomach, forcing out another yelp from Arthur. Merlin repeatedly sucked on the spot as if he wanted to make sure that the mark he left was red and definite, before he trailed kisses downwards. Arthur couldn’t stop his body from reacting, his hips twitching in anticipation for what would come next, but just when Merlin’s mouth almost reached his dick, he moved his head up again, kissing Arthur like his life depended on it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur let out a strangled moan as Merlin grabbed his dick and began to rapidly jerk him off, as if he wanted to get him to come as fast as humanly possible. Pressure built inside Arthur, a looming wave of pleasure approaching too quickly for him to process as he came close to passing out in the kiss. Merlin timed things perfectly, Arthur couldn’t tell whether he’d faint or come first, but everything stopped before anything could happen. Merlin hovered over Arthur still, but from the way that he ceased movement, Arthur thought that something may have clicked in his mind, even though his expression was unreadable.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... Merlin?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin didn’t react at first, but as soon as Arthur opened his mouth again, all that came out was a groan as Merlin grabbed his dick and balls, roughly fondling the sacks while pumping at a pace that Arthur couldn’t keep up with. The sensation was too powerful, Arthur had to resort to biting down on his hand, and even that wasn’t stopping from making too much noise for his liking. Merlin brought him to the edge again even more quickly than before, only to stop right before Arthur could tip over, and his hips bucked up in an attempt to get that final bit of stimulation to get over the edge, but Merlin denied it completely by letting his hands go. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t think he knew the definition of losing his mind until Merlin did it again, and again, and again, and every time he opened his mouth to protest, he let out some kind of embarrassingly loud noise as Merlin began each cycle. Arthur wanted to just do anything to get over the edge, even if it meant throwing away the rest of whatever dignity he had to get on his knees and beg, but Merlin wasn’t even letting him. Arthur realised that his increasingly higher pitched moans weren’t enough, and debated on letting his hand go and letting Merlin hear the full extent of his desire to see if that could work, but by the time he thought of this idea, Merlin was reaching for a bottle of lubricant inside the drawer of the bedside table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah!” Arthur felt something being shoved up his ass and it </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but as Merlin began to slowly thumb the head of his dick, a good amount of the pain melted away and Arthur groaned, still not used to the mix of pain and pleasure. A short while later when Arthur became accustomed to the foreign object in his rear, something else got added and he was afraid that something inside him tore. Soon, that was the least of his worries as whatever was in him moved around, eventually finding a sensitive spot inside him that made Arthur’s hips jerk upwards as he almost came. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t realise that the thing inside him was three of Merlin’s lubed-up fingers until Merlin took them out, cleaning them up with a tissue while grabbing a condom. In a daze, Arthur could only look at the other man opposite him. Merlin’s face was flushed, his expression a mix of… Arthur couldn’t tell at his current state of mind, but he really, really wanted to know. All of those thoughts got thrown out the window when his eyes travelled down. Merlin was </span>
  <em>
    <span>huge</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Was that really going to fit inside him? Arthur was starting to go cold, and the sweat that covered his body was not helping him at all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just when Arthur thought that he was beginning to piece his mind back together again after it had fallen apart from all the stimulation, Merlin entered him with one swift motion. Arthur’s senses were overloaded in that instant, especially when Merlin’s dick hit his prostate with amazing accuracy, and he came the hardest he has ever come in his life, letting out his voice without restraint as he spilled his seed onto his stomach. Merlin didn’t even stop to let Arthur recover from his high nor let him get used to being penetrated with something so big, and Arthur’s voice sustained itself as Merlin thrust with enough speed and precision to keep the blonde man at the height of pleasure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t realise how much time had passed until he noticed that the pain from being stretched so suddenly had stopped, and soon he had come again, the spike in pleasure turning his voice from a loud moan into a scream. After this, Merlin’s thrusts became harder and deeper, his pace slowing down until he finished inside Arthur, taking a moment to indulge in the heat of being inside someone before slipping out, throwing the used condom in a small bin near the bed before opening up another packet. Arthur did his best to cherish this small break he had, but it didn’t last for as long as he’d like. This time, Merlin flipped him over, using his hands to guide Arthur’s hips upwards so that he was sticking his ass out like a bitch in heat, and entered into him again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur moaned into the pillow, intending to use it as something to muffle his sounds but it turned out that this didn’t allow him to breathe. As he decided to raise his head up to get some air before returning to his makeshift gag, Merlin grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked his head back, and Arthur was scared for a split second that he was going to break his neck from the force. Now that Arthur couldn’t close his mouth anymore, everything spilled out as Merlin kept on hitting his prostate gland. Just as Arthur thought that it couldn’t get any more intense, Merlin picked up the pace, filling the room with the sounds of skin slapping skin as precum leaked out of Arthur’s dick.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur came again shortly after, feeling like more and more of him was being drained out with each orgasm, and Merlin showed no signs of slowing down. Arthur’s voice spiked as he felt a sharp sting at his shoulder blades, but his mind was too messed up to compute what had just happened, before the pressure in his abdomen began to build up again. Thankfully, Merlin let go of Arthur’s hair, allowing him to plant his face into the pillow, but it turned out this was no longer a good idea as his body’s craving for oxygen had increased and it felt like he was suffocating himself just to lower the volume of his voice. He sorely wished that he had more control over what his body was doing but nothing was working, and his brain was approaching its limits.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur moaned like an animal, finally giving up on attempting to hold himself down, and he let his body go and do whatever it wanted. Suddenly, everything felt slightly distanced, as if Merlin was fucking his soul out of his body, and an all too familiar pressure began to build up yet again and Arthur could think of nothing but wanting to be satisfied. Merlin was willing to give it to him, leaning closer so that he could grab Arthur’s cock with one hand, pumping it with the same timing as his thrusts, and Arthur came, shuddering as more semen spilled out of his dick. Merlin continued to pleasure him through the orgasm and black spots began to appear in Arthur’s vision.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His body finally gave up and Arthur collapsed onto the mattress, feeling Merlin slip out of him. Merlin didn’t call his name, didn’t give him a kiss or a cuddle, and Arthur couldn’t stop sleep from overcoming him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The alarm clock jolted Arthur out of his sleep as he rapidly sat up to turn off the clock. The first thing he noted was the ache in his lower back that made it more difficult for him to move. As his head hit the pillow again, he tried to remember what happened the previous night and why he felt so groggy and sore…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nngh…” Merlin groaned beside him, hugging Arthur closer, and that’s when he realised that both he and Merlin were completely naked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>… Arthur was hit with the realisation that they just had sex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Arthur, you should go take a shower…” Merlin mumbled just loud enough for Arthur to hear, before rising out of bed.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hmm?” Arthur’s half-asleep brain didn’t quite process the message, his body protesting as he attempted to get out of bed too.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I tried to clean you up the best that I could, but I don’t think just using a damp towel over you was effective enough… you should clean yourself up before you go to work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was as if the Merlin that was ruthlessly fucking Arthur last night was a completely different person.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I don’t remember you cleaning me up.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You passed out.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... Sorry.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s okay. I have stamina only because I have experience.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But still…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well, neither of us have time to waste since we both need to work. You should go shower quickly, I can prepare breakfast in the meantime.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur wanted to be able to talk this out with Merlin, but it looked like it was going to have to wait until after work. He made his way to the bathroom and was greeted with the sight of hickeys all over his chest and abdomen, feeling thankful that none of them were in places that were going to be visible with his work clothes on. Unfortunately there was going to be no quick fix for his lower back, so he’d have to attempt to walk as normally as possible, which turned out to be more difficult than he had anticipated (the same could be said for getting dressed, his flexibility had diminished a fair amount.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Is your back okay?” Merlin asked as Arthur approached the dining table.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It aches, but I can get by.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Take it easy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first it seemed as if Merlin was still waking up and was silent because his brain was in the process of turning on, but Arthur noticed the slightly agitated way in which he ate, the way he glued his eyes to the food in front of him, and how he was downing it faster than usual as if he wanted to escape this situation quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur let Merlin know he was departing for work before doing so, but was unable to find an opportunity to talk to him otherwise this morning. He also couldn’t but think of him during his day at work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur expected being around flowers would improve Merlin’s mood, but unfortunately this was not the case, as the atmosphere felt tense even as they cooked, ate and showered together. Merlin was insistent on cleaning Arthur’s body during the shower and Arthur couldn’t help but notice his expression of guilt whenever his fingertips brushed over the hickeys. The blonde man decided to confront Merlin about this after the shower, as it was a time that they usually spent talking (almost like a bonding session).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s not something that you need to know.” Merlin wasn’t cuddling Arthur this time (though he was still sitting beside him on the bed), and he was unable to keep eye contact.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Does it have to do with me?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Then… what is it? You haven’t really been yourself-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Merlin shut Arthur up with a kiss, but instead of the roughness and desperation of last night, this one felt so soft and gentle that Arthur was positive something broke inside him. No tongue and teeth clashing, just a gentle movement of lips, and Arthur was getting carried along not because of the physical sensation, but the tenderness seemed to communicate something else and that forced some kind of satisfied noise out of him from the back of his throat. He hadn’t been kissed by Merlin much at all, but holy shit, Arthur was hooked on his technique. Something made him question why Merlin was acting so differently now than last night (Arthur couldn’t figure out whether he liked it rough or soft) but his emotions were brought up so high from the kiss that the thought was forced into the back of his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they first parted for air, the combination of a tight feeling in his chest and the lack of oxygen caused Arthur’s brain to stop, right when he had the opportunity to speak. When Arthur thought that he had mentally recovered enough to talk coherently, Merlin went in for another kiss, softly grasping Arthur’s hair, keeping his head in place in the perfect position to receive his affections. Merlin’s other free hand cupped Arthur’s cheek, indulging in its softness as he rubbed the skin, before his hand travelled slowly down Arthur’s neck and soon his palm was right on Arthur’s chest, gently pressing down to try and feel his heartbeat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time Arthur was almost light-headed when the kiss was over.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Ah, Merlin, wait-” Merlin didn’t listen, interrupting him with his lips on Arthur’s, moving his position so that he was fully facing and straddling him. Arthur appreciated not having to crane his neck to the side in order to receive, and he honestly just wanted to be in this moment of intimacy forever, he felt like he was truly being loved and truly being cared for, even though the man kissing him was no more than a good friend. At this point, he wondered whether this relationship was something closer to friends with benefits rather than a stress toy and its owner, even though that was their initial agreement, but there also could be that Merlin enjoyed taking care of his toys more than mindlessly throwing them around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was all just a physical relationship, Arthur thought, hoping that it would stop him from overthinking the situation. The last thing he wanted was for this to get to his head when Merlin had no intention of giving anything beyond kisses, cuddles and sex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally Merlin stopped his assault, pulling Arthur into a hug.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Merlin apologised. His warmth was welcoming, and Arthur couldn’t help but hug back.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m… concerned, you know.” Arthur began, speaking his mind. Even if Merlin was not a romantic partner, he couldn’t help but be worried after all of the friendship that they’d built up over time. In the back of his mind, Arthur thought about whether he felt closer to Merlin faster due to the circumstances of their relationship (and if being at his life’s lowest was making him more sensitive to comfort from others), but right now, he cared and he wanted to get to the bottom of this… only if Merlin allowed him to. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’ll… I’ll tell you about it sometime in the future.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Okay.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Merlin gave Arthur a peck on the forehead before undoing the buttons on Arthur’s pyjamas.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Did you want to do it again today?” The blonde man asked, blushing and unable to meet Merlin’s eyes. Memories flooded in from the night before, and even though there was pain, the amount of pleasure that Merlin drove into him was overwhelming and he wasn’t sure whether he was mentally prepared to go through it again. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No, I just want to cuddle for a bit, but I want to feel you more.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur let Merlin take his shirt off, before the white-haired man also stripped off his own. Merlin attempted to turn Arthur around as he lay down to face away from him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We’re not spooning?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I want you to be facing me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Considering they had been spooning for the past month, Arthur found this request unusual but obliged anyway, turning to face Merlin and allowing him to put an arm under his neck. Merlin had both arms around Arthur and he held him close, as if he were really something more than a friend and he treasured his very existence. Arthur’s face was quite close to Merlin’s chest (any closer and he’d be smothered), and something drove him to put a hand on it, to feel the heartbeat. It took him back to the time when he was an emotional wreck, when he wanted to take those pills. If that organ inside stopped beating, this person that he knew as Merlin, with all of his personality, would disappear… that thought scared Arthur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Merlin began to pet Arthur’s head and for some reason he found it soothing, even though he was being treated like a pet. Combined with the extra warmth radiating from Merlin’s body, and how he felt so </span>
  <em>
    <span>safe</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be in his arms, Arthur could feel sleep beginning to set in. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... Arthur.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hmm?” Merlin paused to look at Arthur. Arthur could see none of the bright, bubbly Merlin that loved all the flowers in the world, but a Merlin that was almost a completely different person.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m sorry for hurting you last night.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur didn’t know how to respond. On one hand, Merlin was right; part of the sex did hurt and he had marks to show for it. On the other hand, Merlin probably wasn’t thinking right and might have been stressed, and then took it out on Arthur, plus it wasn’t an overall negative experience. Arthur would have been lying if he said that he absolutely hated it, but even so, he didn’t know how to respond in a way that would protect himself and not hurt Merlin’s feelings at the same time. Now that he thought about it, it was not like it mattered, Arthur was a stress toy, after all, so he settled with an answer that would reflect his purpose the most.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I… I didn’t dislike it.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No, tell me the whole truth.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It hurt and felt good at the same time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Merlin fell silent. Arthur guessed that his words confirmed whatever beliefs Merlin held. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... I’m going to massage you.” Merlin suddenly said, moving away from Arthur to get out of  bed. Day by day Arthur questioned what Merlin’s intentions were, sometimes it was as if Arthur was his lover, other times it was really like Arthur was something that he owned and could do whatever he wished to him. Merlin returned with a bottle of oil and Arthur moved onto his stomach; he had never received a massage before and considering Merlin used to be a sex worker, he wondered how good Merlin’s skills would be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The white-haired man tied up his hair and quickly got to work, and Arthur didn’t realise how many knots he had until Merlin went to undo every single one of them. It hurt, but it was ultimately relieving as Merlin started from Arthur’s shoulders and slowly moved down. For some reason, it felt strangely intimate, knowing that Merlin was putting in physical work just to make Arthur feel better (though in hindsight, relaxing the muscles was good for the body too). Arthur grew tempted to ask Merlin why he was doing this, but he would probably say “I felt like it” or “this will keep your body in shape so that sex is better”... curiosity got the better of him, so he asked anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you doing this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Merlin didn’t respond and Arthur decided that it wasn’t a good idea to continue to push this, so he let the silence grow. He thought about Merlin’s usual, cheerful self, who was almost always ready to strike up a conversation about anything and everything that he could think of. He probably maintained that character while at work, so maybe… was Merlin just stressed, or was this his true self, under a mask of happiness, sunshine and rainbows? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur winced as Merlin began to work on his lower back, which had almost caused a fair amount of embarrassment during his day. His coworkers had realised he had a limp despite his best efforts at hiding it, and he had to lie his way out of it, something about spending too much time gardening. He then had to reveal that he had picked it up as a new hobby, and he was somewhat relieved that Merlin was a florist, so he could quickly think of something up on the spot and also have some knowledge to make his lie concrete. His coworkers didn’t even know about his relationship with Guinevere, and suddenly saying that he had slept with some other man would not have gone well. They all played along, but for some reason he was worried that someone would have been able to see through the lie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Merlin would have definitely been able to see through any lies Arthur made, though. Deceiving him was pretty much impossible in any capacity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur bit his lip as Merlin pushed down particularly hard. Even though he was doing his best to relax, the pain was making it quite difficult to do so, but Merlin paid no heed and continued his treatment anyway. A few very long minutes later he was finished, running his hands up and down Arthur’s oiled back.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m going to get a towel to wipe the oil off.” Merlin spoke in a flat tone before leaving the room. Arthur couldn’t help but notice the distinct scent of the other man on the pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All was done and they were back to cuddling, with Arthur facing Merlin again. The latter seemed to be more composed and relaxed in general as he held Arthur in a gentle embrace, unlike before when it seemed that if he would have disappeared if he didn’t hold him close enough. Did the massage help to vent some of Merlin’s stress? Merlin leaned down to kiss Arthur’s hair before resuming to pet it like before, and now that his back felt significantly better, he drifted off to sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Arthur found himself in a grassy plain that stretched towards the horizons, a gentle breeze swaying the plants around him. The vastness of it was almost overwhelming, and he wanted to see whether this peaceful scene would end, or if there was something over the horizon, so he ran as fast as he could towards it. The air was so refreshing, the sun providing just the right amount of warmth, and as much as he wanted to relax, curiosity had gotten the better of him. He thought about the times when it had led him to trouble, and all of those stories that his parents told him about the accidents that happened because of his thirst for knowledge and experiences. He wondered when he changed and became more grounded, less adventurous, instead wanting to lead a quiet life going forward, ideally with a romantic partner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought about the last time he had a similar experience to this, running around in the grass with other kids as they attempted to get away from him, while he attempted to touch them. Tag was his favourite game back then, it allowed him to let lose all of that energy that he had built up during classes. Considering that he was such a restless child, it felt strange that he had done a complete turn, becoming the good model student that everyone aspired to be in high school, and his efforts landed him a scholarship. He remembered that he wanted to be a professional soccer player as a kid, but when he entered university, he had an aspiration to become someone up there, someone who sat at an office all day, someone who had power and money. Then he met Guinevere, and then the breakup… that destroyed everything, his body, mind and dreams, and he was that close to ending it all…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly he felt the presence of someone else behind him and he whipped around, only to see a silhouette. He thought that he should know who this person was- no, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that this was someone that he was very familiar with, someone that he was close to, but he couldn’t put a finger on who it was and that frustrated him to no end. He wanted to run up closer, but his body refused to move. For some reason, he knew that this person was looking at him with a soft gaze, and Arthur wanted nothing more to embrace them, but he didn’t know why and no matter how much he racked his brain, he couldn’t find any answers. A familiar scent wafted by when another breeze blew through both him and the silhouette, but he couldn’t remember where it came from…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Arthur wanted to talk, but nothing came out when he opened his mouth. He wanted to ask this person who they were, why they were here, but the silhouette spoke first, the words coming out of them so softly and naturally that Arthur was certain that they were saying it from the bottom of their heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt it, the pounding and the tightness in his chest, the almost light-headedness that this whole situation caused. Arthur knew what this feeling was, even if he didn’t know why he was feeling this way, and he opened his mouth to respond from the depths of his soul.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything disappeared and he was swamped with the warmth of the bed, the blanket, and Merlin. He was still asleep, breathing softly with an arm around Arthur’s waist, and for a moment, Arthur wanted nothing more than to drift back to sleep. Everything was so warm and comfortable and he wanted to stay like this forever. Suddenly he remembered the dream and what happened, the mysterious person who said that they loved him (he realised that he couldn’t remember that voice) and… what was he going to say to them again? Arthur thought hard about it, playing the moment over and over in his head, but no matter how many times he put it on repeat, he couldn’t recall how he was going to finish his sentence and that annoyed and pained him at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The alarm went off and Arthur turned it off with a grumble. Merlin groaned and immediately attempted to pull Arthur back into him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Morning…” The white-haired man was still half asleep as he kissed Arthur’s forehead, before cupping his cheeks and going in for a kiss. Arthur let him, deciding that his morning greeting didn’t need to be said, and as much as he wanted to do this for as long as he liked, there was still work that he had to go to. He fought against his urges and gently held Merlin’s face away from his after they parted for air. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We have to get up or we’ll be late.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... Ah, that’s right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Merlin was in some kind of dreamy lover mood, he had snapped out of it by the time Arthur left his side at the bed. The morning went by like a routine and Arthur said goodbye as he headed towards his office again, but he couldn’t help but think about the dream and what it meant.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Oh, I have something I need to tell you.” Arthur said as he and Merlin headed to the bedroom after a nice hot shower together.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hmm? What is it?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“My workplace will be relocating for a few weeks since the office is being renovated.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Is it farther away from here?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes, um… it’ll be an hour via public transport…” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Ah, you’ll have to get up a bit earlier from when the relocation happens, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I suppose life throws you one of those from time to time, but once the renovation finishes you’ll be back around here, right?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes, um…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’ll just have to look forward to then.” Merlin noticed Arthur’s fidgeting. “Hmm? What are you nervous about?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Uh…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Just say it, Arthur! I won’t judge! Did you find something that you wanted to try out tonight?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Wh- no, it’s got nothing to do with sex!” Arthur’s face heated in embarrassment. Merlin laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then what is it?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I talked to Artoria over the phone about this and… since the new place is very close to her place, she suggested that I stay over at her place just to catch up. She was pressuring me a bit and I didn’t have a good reason to say no, and I didn’t want to tell her about our relationship so…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin’s expression was unreadable. Arthur found this to be particularly unnerving, and it only got worse as the silence stretched out.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Did you have an opinion?” Arthur didn’t like how this was going already as the atmosphere became unbearable.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... Why did you not talk to me about this before?” Merlin spoke softly, but it wasn’t a gentle softness. It was more like the calm before the storm.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I-”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Did you forget what kind of position you’re in? You had every opportunity to ask for some time and to communicate with me before making this decision, but you didn’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry-” Arthur tried, but Merlin cut him off again.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You don’t need to apologise, I’m in no mood to accept it right now. Maybe I would have happily let you go if you told me about it rather than doing everything yourself.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m still going to go anyway.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... No, you’re not going to.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You can’t stop me!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes, I can.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This whole situation had flipped a hidden switch that Arthur never guessed had existed. Merlin grabbed his wrist and slammed him into the wall, holding his arm above his head before he crushed his lips onto his. Arthur let out a muffled cry in response and he tried to use his free hand to push Merlin off him, but Merlin only grabbed that wrist too, pushing it into the wall and gripping with so much strength that it almost hurt. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Merlin, wai-” Arthur couldn’t finish his sentence as Merlin kissed him ferociously again, grinding his hips into Arthur’s. Arthur groaned at the back of his throat as pleasure was beginning to mix in with his fear and panic; Arthur hated this feeling and he prayed that Merlin would stop before his body reacted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The kiss ended, but Merlin gave him no time to struggle as he practically threw him onto the bed before climbing on top of him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Merlin!!” Arthur shouted, fully prepared to shove the white-haired male off him if he really needed to, but he prayed that he didn’t have to resort to wrestling Merlin off him. Fortunately, Merlin hesitated with his actions, but his anger didn’t subside.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I won’t let you go.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You agreed to become my property. You have no right to argue with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From the way that Merlin’s voice was slightly choked, Arthur could tell that there was more than just Merlin being possessive. Arthur took this moment of silence to focus on the man looming over him, but when he met his gaze, he wasn’t just met with anger; Merlin’s eyes were wide and Arthur could see tears just beginning to form. Alongside rage, Arthur could see that there was fear and desperation mixed in.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Merlin.” He tried in a softer voice.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... What is it?” Merlin stopped fast in his tracks, a hand about to reach down to pull up Arthur’s shirt.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Is it okay if we talk this out instead?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From the way Merlin stared at Arthur with some expression of shock, Arthur guessed that something had gone through Merlin’s mind. Finally, Merlin climbed off him, opting to lie beside him on the bed. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“... So, you decided that you were going to move in with your sister temporarily.” The white-haired male stared at the ceiling.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Did you want to move in with her, other than because it’s convenient?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes. We’ve both been busy so we haven’t had much time to be able to talk to each other… I’ve always wanted to be able to sit down and talk properly with her again.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Tell me about her.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I had to summarise her personality, she’s like that older overprotective sister who will stop at nothing to make sure that her younger siblings are doing okay. Well, she’s a bit too overprotective sometimes, but she always means well. On the outside, she seems like a really serious person, like a textbook image of a responsible adult, but at home, she can be very affectionate. She tends to make sarcastic jokes, especially with me. Oh, she’s also pretty blunt, sometimes she ends up offending people when she doesn’t mean to, but she said to me that she’d rather be blunt and for people to get her point rather than to beat around the bush and cause misunderstandings.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And even after all of these years, you still get along well?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Was your relationship with her always good?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We’d have the odd argument here and there, but we’d always make up at some point. I remember that I was quite reliant on her when I was very young, in the sense that I’d get upset if I were separated from her, but I quickly became more independent. She helped me through that process too.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It must be nice to have someone you can rely on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It definitely is.” Arthur turned to look at Merlin, but the florist looked lost if anything. Now that Arthur thought about it, he didn’t know much about Merlin’s past, other than that he used to do sex work, and Arthur was curious. “Do you have any siblings?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. I’m an only child.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Ah. Now that I think of it… it’s something I can’t imagine since I’ve relied on my sister so much…” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s also good to hear that you have a good relationship with your sister.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m pretty fortunate that I can get along with her really well, I know a lot of people didn’t get along with their siblings.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“... What do you think she’d say if you told her about our relationship?” Merlin suddenly asked, switching the topic.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“She’d come over and drag me out of here, that’s for sure.” Arthur laughed a little. “I think she’d freak out and think that I was being used every day or something, and even if I told her the truth I don’t think she’d believe me.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“The truth being?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“We’re friends. It’s not like you trapped me in some dark room and only came in to either feed me or have sex, you… you treated me like a normal human being.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin didn’t say anything. Arthur continued.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I guess there was that time when we did it, but… you treated me so nicely afterwards. At first I thought that sex was always going to be that rough and I just needed to get used to it but it felt a lot like you didn’t want it to be that way and that you were just being rough because you were stressed or something. You really did treat me like a stress toy in that moment, but it didn’t seem like you enjoyed doing that kind of thing to me. And for just now… um… is everything okay?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s nothing.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“If you really wanted me to stay here, then I can tell my sister that I can’t stay over. Besides, I can always just have lunch with her to catch up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“... It’s okay. You can go.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You treasure your relationship with her a lot, right? Besides, it makes it easier for you to travel to work.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Then… then what about the whole stress toy thing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin’s silence told him everything. Arthur could finally begin to put the pieces together, but he still didn’t get it. He now knew that Merlin had an ulterior motive for having him in this relationship, but he couldn’t figure out what said motive was.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Besides, if we separate for a bit longer, won’t that force us to sexually starve ourselves to make the next time even better?” Merlin suddenly spoke, turning to look at Arthur with a grin. Arthur didn’t know what to say in response. Merlin laughed. “How long until you move?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hmm… three days? I planned to move a bit earlier than I needed to so that I could get accustomed to her area a little, and spend a day or two exploring.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That office move seems to be of awfully short notice.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Can’t be helped. Management is a bit disorganised.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Good thing I work by myself so that I can be as organised as I want things to be.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They conversed into the night, and Merlin had mostly reverted back to his usual, sunny self. Arthur had quite a lot to talk about work and Merlin patiently listened to all of it, but whenever Arthur wanted to find out more about how Merlin’s work was going, he was always met with a short response, and then an insistent “I want to hear more about you”. It was as if the florist wasn’t comfortable with disclosing what was happening on his end, or he just wanted to hear more about Arthur, or he just wanted to hear Arthur talk. Reading Merlin’s true intentions was impossible but Arthur decided to go with the flow. They were talking as friends, and Arthur enjoyed it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That night when they slept, Merlin hugged Arthur more tightly than usual.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next day was a weekend, and Arthur planned to spend the whole day packing. When Arthur announced his intentions, Merlin sulked all through breakfast at the prospect of him not being able to help with the flower shop. When Arthur grew concerned and attempted to comfort him in some way, Merlin instantly lit up with a “just kidding!” and it turned out that it was a plan to get Arthur’s attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After breakfast was done and Merlin headed out to begin setting up business for the day, he kissed him goodbye and Arthur stood speechless at the doorway as Merlin laughed and disappeared. If the florist had intended to embarrass Arthur, it definitely worked because it took a few moments for Arthur to get his thoughts together and realise that he and Merlin were, indeed, not a married couple.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur thought back to the time when he packed up in his old apartment and how much he had changed since then. Even though his relationship with Merlin had started quite strangely and abruptly, it had brought him back from the brink. Now, Guinevere barely occupied his thoughts and whenever she popped up in his mind, it wasn’t as painful as before, because he knew that he had Merlin by his side. Merlin wasn’t a romantic partner, but being able to talk and laugh with him made Arthur feel so much more relaxed and comfortable. As much as he racked his brain, he couldn’t figure out why Merlin was able to do this to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur looked at the snowflower sitting in its little vase on the kitchen bench, thinking back to how Merlin had given one to him as a gift. It felt like forever since that event had happened; of course, that particular one had died, but for some reason Merlin was very eager to install another one in their shared home. Every single time they left the kitchen area after post-dinner cleanup, Merlin always made it a point to say goodnight to it. At first, Arthur got second-hand embarrassment from this, but eventually Merlin’s enthusiasm rubbed off on him and Arthur ended up joining in on the ritual.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I’ll miss you, Mr Snowflower.” Arthur smiled at the plant sitting in its vase on the bench as he passed the living room to give himself a break after a few hours of manual labour. A good amount of his belongings had been packed into boxes already, and sprawling out on the couch had never felt more comfortable. Merlin’s place was cosy and nice, and Arthur was sure that he was going to miss this place at least a little. He also realised that he had never been to Artoria’s apartment before and he was curious, but he’d have to find that out when he moved in tomorrow. Arthur could already picture an immaculate living space and Artoria proudly grinning at the cleanliness of it all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the day flew by and they had dinner together, just like they did any other day. Merlin gushed about a particularly enthusiastic customer over steak, mashed potatoes, carrots and broccoli, and he was so animated that Arthur was swept up by the positive energy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dishes were done quickly. In the shower, Merlin usually only washed Arthur’s back, but today it was a completely different story.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re being awfully touchy.” Arthur commented as Merlin’s soaped hands rubbed his chest and stomach. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Mmm… I won’t be seeing you for a while so… let me indulge in you today.” Merlin hummed in satisfaction. From the way Merlin’s fingertips ghosted his thighs and hips, Arthur couldn’t help but get a bit excited. Arthur tried to reciprocate, but Merlin only laughed.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re pretty clumsy at this, you know.” The white-haired male commented.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re the one with experience, I don’t have any.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No, it’s fine. It’s quite cute, actually.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was already blushing from the heat of the shower, but this just raised his facial temperature to an entirely different level. Merlin chuckled and pecked him on the cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As soon as they dried themselves, Merlin kissed him gently. Arthur tried to communicate to him that they were still in the bathroom, but Merlin didn’t relent, keeping his lips on his even as they awkwardly shuffled back to the bedroom. They reached their shared bed and Arthur let him top; Merlin didn’t grab his wrists or press his weight on him, his body hovered over his as they continued to kiss. Everything was so warm and tender and Arthur was greatly enjoying this. When they broke away from each other, Arthur’s half-lidded, dazed expression told Merlin everything.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Ah, so you’re one of those people.” Merlin remarked.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Some people like it a bit rough, but so far it seems that you like it soft.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Mmm…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Let’s confirm that, shall we?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur tried to respond but it was too late. Merlin kissed him again, slowly introducing his tongue, and Arthur groaned at the back of his throat because it seriously felt good. He was suddenly hit with the realisation that he wasn’t going to be able to experience this for the next few weeks and now he wanted to really cherish this moment of intimacy. Merlin’s technique was doing wonders to his mind and body, and he could feel all the accumulated tension from the day begin to disappear as if it was being drained from him. As time went on, Merlin amped things up and his tongue became more invasive to the point when Arthur was almost drooling and his body was beginning to react. Kissing was only supposed to be the beginning, but Arthur was already so deep into the mood that he couldn’t fathom why he was there so quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin finally let him catch his breath. A string of saliva formed as they separated.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“So, you really like kissing.” Arthur failed to think of a response in time before Merlin began making his way down Arthur’s jaw, and then his neck. When Arthur’s breath hitched as Merlin’s lips brushed against a certain spot on his neck, Merlin couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction. He focused on it, nipping and sucking the skin, and Arthur’s body pressed up against his in response. Arthur unconsciously wrapped his arms around Merlin, egging him on, but Merlin went back up to Arthur’s mouth to keep it busy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the meantime, Merlin tweaked and played with a nipple with one of his hands while using the other to play with Arthur’s hair. Arthur moaned at the back of his throat as he tried to keep himself from squirming but he failed; it felt so good already and the way Merlin was slowly taking him on a journey of pleasure was absolutely perfect. Pressure was already building in his abdomen and Arthur couldn’t help but buck his hips upwards, his dick brushing with Merlin’s.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Someone’s impatient.” The white-haired man teased. Now that there was nothing to obstruct Arthur’s mouth, his voice was free, and Merlin spent his sweet time savouring all of the noises that he made. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur began to feel around Merlin’s back, noting the strong, sturdy muscles there that had been maintained over the years, and he did his best not to scratch the skin. Merlin smiled, his face close to Arthur’s, and then his hand was already on Arthur’s thigh. The blonde male shuddered in anticipation.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You want to know what a blowjob feels like?” Arthur nodded without thinking, and Merlin almost looked like a snake slithering its way down as he moved with an impossible amount of grace. Now that Arthur was freed from stimulation, his mind was also freed from its haze, even if at least temporarily.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Wait, Merlin, you don’t have to-” Merlin blew on Arthur’s half-hard dick and Arthur jumped a little in reaction to the cold air.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Merlin’s face was dangerously close to Arthur’s genitals.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Isn’t it gross?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s why we had a shower beforehand.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes, but-” Arthur put a hand over his mouth to suppress a moan as Merlin took the entire length to the base in one go, moving and sucking it as if it were candy instead. It was incredibly warm and soft inside his mouth and Arthur quickly lost control of his voice as he became fully erect.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“See? It feels good, right?” Merlin’s voice was low and husky, and Arthur would have been lying if he disagreed. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s unfair if I’m the only one feeling good though…” Arthur blushed and averted his eyes.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Just seeing your cute reactions is enough for me, so don’t worry!” Merlin grinned. Arthur opened his mouth to respond but the words were quickly lost as Merlin’s mouth enveloped his dick again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for the pressure to approach a breaking point, and Arthur had to do everything in his power to stop himself from grabbing Merlin’s head and shoving his dick as far down his throat as he could. Merlin could immediately sense that Arthur was close from the way his hips bucked, and took his mouth off with a strangely satisfying pop. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Do you enjoy teasing me this much?” Arthur asked breathlessly. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Of course.” Merlin maintained eye contact as he gave the shaft one long lick from the base to the tip. Arthur shuddered not only because it felt good but the sight that Merlin was giving him was that erotic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now it’s time to prepare for the main event~” Merlin was way too excited for this, Arthur thought. “I’ll go grab the lube and condoms.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s okay, I’ll get it.” Arthur rolled on his stomach to reach for the drawer that contained the items in question, but yelped in surprise as Merlin grabbed his ass. “W-what was that for?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Your butt is cute. Have I told you that?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No. That’s a new compliment from you.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Congratulations, your ass has received a gold star of approval from me~” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s good to know that I spent time in the gym just for you to say that about my butt.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin laughed. Arthur handed him the box of condoms and the lube, and Merlin quickly got to work, lubing up three fingers. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Nervous?” Merlin asked, eyes fixated on Arthur’s hole.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Kind of…” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re not even a virgin anymore.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But this is only my second time though…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’ll get used to this with time.” Merlin pushed a finger in and Arthur groaned. He thought back to his first time and how he managed to take Merlin’s huge dick, and suddenly it felt like he was a virgin all over again because he had no idea how that was possible. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Relax a little more.” Merlin wiggled his finger a little before attempting to press a second one in.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m trying…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin sighed and used his other hand to slowly stroke Arthur’s cock, and it worked to suppress the pain to some extent as the second finger went in. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You don’t need to hold back your voice, you know.” Merlin suggested as he brushed against Arthur’s prostate.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But- nngh… it’s embarrassing…”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Then in that case, I’ll just have to force it out of you.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Ah!” A third finger went in and Arthur was caught completely off guard. Merlin drew circles on the tip of Arthur’s dick with his other hand, watching with satisfaction as it twitched at his touch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Spread a little wider for me and I’ll give you a reward~” Arthur wasn’t thinking straight and obliged, and Merlin began to pump Arthur up and down, causing him to groan. Combined with the stimulation from inside him, it didn’t take long for Arthur to almost reach the edge again, but Merlin stopped right before he tipped over. It frustrated Arthur that Merlin could turn him into a blushing, panting mess just like that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, seems like you’re ready. I’ll try and do it slowly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur couldn’t help but compare this moment to what had happened before. Merlin was taking it far slower, and he was handling him as if he’d break as soon as he was just a little too rough. It was as if Merlin was treating him like a lover, and that just elevated things to a whole different level.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Merlin?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hmm?” Merlin rolled the condom onto his length.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Do you like it soft or rough?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I don’t really know. Both of them are nice in their own way.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you usually bottom or-” Arthur groaned as the head of Merlin’s dick made its way in. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hmm… I did a fair amount of both in the past, so I don’t think I have a preference. Being at the bottom sure is nice because you get more pleasure, plus you don’t have to do any of the work, no?” Merlin was talking as if he was having a regular conversation with Arthur and he wasn’t just about to fuck him. Arthur tried to respond but the sensation of being filled wasn’t helping, and every time a train of thought started, it was always cut off by Merlin burying deeper and deeper into him. Finally, he was all the way in. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You okay?” Merlin asked, and Arthur nodded in response. “I’m going to start moving then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The first time they did this, Merlin was at full throttle from the get go, but this time, he took it slowly. Arthur wondered whether he was intentionally holding back to avoid hurting him or if he really wanted to start slowly, but he didn’t mind this at all. Getting time to get used to having something up his ass was definitely a good feeling; the first time hurt a lot more and he had been scared of getting injured inside. It didn’t take long for the pleasure to begin, and as Arthur moaned, Merlin took this as a sign to pick up the pace. Arthur looked at Merlin’s face and they locked gazes; Merlin was flushed, mouth hanging slightly open, but from the way that he was so intently looking at Arthur, it was as if he was watching for something in particular.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Arthur managed.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hmm?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Why are you looking at me like that?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Just trying to make sure that I’m not hurting you.” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’ll let you know if it hurts, okay? You should enjoy yourself too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin murmured something under his breath and Arthur couldn’t stop from crying out as Merlin suddenly sped up, the pleasure spiking in his system. Arthur had shut his eyes, but he forced them to open because he wanted to see Merlin’s expression, if only out of curiosity. Merlin was staring blankly in the general direction of Arthur’s face, his eyes glazed over, and Arthur only felt his own heat rise as he realised that Merlin was feeling good too. Now Arthur was dangerously close to the edge, his moans rising in pitch, but there was something else that seemed to be missing.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Ah! … Merlin- nngh, Merlin…” Arthur could barely talk over the pleasure.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“What is it?” Merlin’s voice was breathy and strained.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Give me… give me a kiss…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur definitely wasn’t thinking properly now. Merlin seemed more than happy to oblige, leaning down to lock lips with Arthur. It was messy and sloppy and soon Arthur was drooling, but he didn’t care because all he could think about was making everything as hot as possible to get himself to the peak of pleasure. There was something about the way Merlin’s tongue danced about his mouth that was so erotic that Arthur came, his voice muffled by Merlin’s mouth, and his hands reached up to keep Merlin’s head in place because he wanted his high to last as long as possible. As they pulled away, Merlin’s breathing grew heavier as he finished inside with one final thrust, and he let out a moan as he went through his own orgasm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur pulled Merlin in for another kiss, and it was so impossibly soft and sweet that his mind was completely blank for some time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cleanup was quickly handled, and Merlin opted for both of them to sleep naked, facing each other. Merlin's embrace was so comfortable that Arthur fell asleep almost immediately.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The next morning...</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur turned around to face Merlin as he was about to leave, his luggage beside him.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Well… I guess this is goodbye for now.” Arthur spoke.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Promise me that you’ll call every now and then, okay?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I will.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Oh! Don’t forget Mr Snowflower!” Merlin rushed to the small vase on the bench, taking the plant out of its vase. He quickly wrapped the stem with some nearby scrap paper before handing it to Arthur.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But… won’t he die soon?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“At least he’ll be with you when he does. Plus, he’ll get to see new places!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There wasn’t much time left; the taxi had already arrived outside and neither of them wanted for the taxi driver to wait for too long.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Alright, I’ll take him.” Arthur took the plant from Merlin’s hand. Fortunately he wasn’t bringing much and he could drag his luggage with one hand, so he could use the other to hold the flower.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yay! I’m sure that he’ll be thrilled to see what Artoria’s place is like.” Merlin clapped his hands together excitedly and Arthur couldn’t help but chuckle at the comment.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I really have to go now, so…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur was about to turn to leave, but Merlin stepped forward and raised a hand, gently caressing Arthur’s cheek. From the way that Merlin’s expression was uncharacteristically soft, Arthur could tell that this smile was not a completely happy one. Merlin opened his mouth to say something but he quickly shut it.</span>
  <span></span>
    <br/>
  
  <span>“Did you want to say something?” Arthur asked.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“It’s okay, you can go.” Merlin’s voice was almost a whisper.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Arthur looked back one more time as he was about to get into the taxi. Merlin was there in front of his flower shop, smiling and waving. Arthur waved back, and soon, the vehicle departed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Merlin waited for Arthur to disappear from sight before letting his tears flow.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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